Things We Found In The Fire AKA Some Like It Hot
by ArchipelagoOfLiteraryNonsense
Summary: thermophobia: n, a fear of heat. "Breathy and wild she met her mouth to my ear, barely touching to the skin, and begged "Bella..." Rated M For a deliciously good reason. Slash, AH
1. Chapter 1: Kissing Alice Cullen

**A/N: **This is my very first adventure into writing a fan fiction, i got a couple started up but this was the first one i fell head over heals in love with. Just because I'm a newb does not mean i want you to be easy on me. Tear my heart out with your reviews. Even if its seemingly insignificant, I want to hear what you think. I can take it. Thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyers owns twilight and i don't claim to. I just like jerking around with her characters a little.

(**edit note:** sorry guys i realized after reading this for the millionth time that i have an epic fail on this chapter so i edited a few words, it'll work better now, sorry for the inconvenience, i really need a darn beta =[)

**Chapter One:**

**Kissing Alice Cullen**

"hmm" I sighed as she lay her jet black hair covered head on my shoulder, we lay in the comfort of each others embrace, completely naked. This was the third time this week we had gotten so carried away with one another, not bad, considering. I could feel her clean shaven arm as I glided my hand back and forth in small but swift strokes across the surface of them. They were gloriously soft... I reveled in the sensation of her skin. I could not get enough of it.

She noticed my recess and tilted her head up into the crook of my neck while softly whispering,

"what are you thinking about Bella?"

I could tell from the quiet of her voice that she was worried, and she should be, but I wasn't exactly ready to come out with it. Alice was just going to have to wait, I conceded.

***

You see the thing of the matter is, I am in love with my best friend, we have been dating...

well... allow me to rephrase.

we have been fooling around for what seems like years... in all honesty it has been a mere but blissful 7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days.

This all started when we had an argument about the temperature of our apartment, she was always so cold where as I was always blazing hot. we could never agree on what temperature to keep the thermostat at. I would occasionally catch her changing it without my prior knowledge. But with that 3 year old caught grabbing the cookies from the cookie jar stare she always gave me... how could I be mad?

It just so happened that the day of the first incident.. I had an extra excruciating stint at work and was ready to just go to my peaceful two bedroom apartment with no distractions and nothing to worry about. Just me and my air conditioning, the love of my fucking life at that moment in time.

I opened the door and stepped through expecting to melt in the cool relief... but what I got was attacked by a wall of searing heat. It almost burned my flesh right off my bones. It was hard to breath and gasping, I called out in frustration.

"ALICE!" my eyes shot around the room looking for that little she-devil, it was 90 degrees outside for god sakes, and this mental case had the heater on.

Its had been an usually humid couple of days in Washington for it being the middle of October "there's no such thing as global warming" my ass.

She finally emerged from the hallway leading to our bedrooms, Alice-y as ever with that oh so perfect little grin, in Alice's world.. everything was perfect all the time, that's the kind of smile she constantly wore.

It made me want to puke buckets.

It also made me even redder with rage. She knew very well what she had done.

"Why is it so god damn hot in here?" I practically screamed up a tonsil or two.

But as Alice ever was, she just stared like she had no damn idea what I was talking about, typical.

"Silly Belley, I have no idea what you are talking about" her grin never wavered.

Told you.

A sweat had already broken across my forehead, I swiped at it rebelliously. Now I was pissed off. And she was never going to hear the end of this.

"dammit Alice I thought we agreed to keep it at 70 degrees, you changed it again didn't you" I knew what she was going to say next and ill tell you... it probably is going to involve that damn "who me? couldn't be" look

as if she could read my thoughts, there it was in all its majesty, she knew the effect it had, and she used it wisely.... a worthy opponent.

"Bella, I am sorry but I just got so cold... pwease forgive me?" she added a little raise of prayer just to singe the deal, and as she clasped her hands together, I sighed with severe defeat, dropping my head into my palm rubbing it vertically over my face rubbing it with exasperation.

You really couldn't stay angry with her, I had known that girl for over a year and she could have gotten away with murder, seriously, if she had come to me and told me that she straight up sliced and diced some poor fool, I would have been angry, but then she would have looked at me with her patent Alice pout and I would not only have hid the body but also meticulously cleaned up every single scrap of evidence. It sounds insane, but then again you weren't in the room, you wouldn't know, you weren't subjected to that... damn... face.

I rarely ever won these fights between us, Alice was short but she was stead fast. Her shoulder length straightened black hair fell perfectly down around her face, framing it and displaying it beautifully.

I looked her in her vibrant hazel eyes and pleaded my case the best I could, although I knew it wouldn't amount to much. "Alice I'm not mad okay but could we please turn it down, there are always blankets, you know I have a thing about heat and I had a hard day at work and my boss is such a dick" I just kept going and there she stood finally after a few moments of my mindless rant I think she was starting to falter, and in my head my only thought was "good."

Her eyes were aloof and I thought that they were saying without forming words "you win"

Apparently I was wrong when reading Alice's body language. Because what I thought meant "oh... maybe she is starting to make some sense" in fact meant "you are about to receive a shit storm... be prepared" She placed her hand on her hip and bucked it to the side, her lips pursed, I would have expected an "oh no she di int" out of anyone else at this, but that was just not Alice.

And like a bolt of lightening, she was off, illuminating the room with her voice. I'll tell you one thing, the girl had spirit.

"Isabella it is NOT even that hot in here,"

I hated it when she called me that, and she sure as hell knew it too.

she kept going "and so what if you had a bad day? someone almost ran into me with their car. Esme called and she got a hold of my grades, which I'm pretty sure is fucking illegal. she's going to kill me, not to mention that cute boy I've had my eye on started seeing that stupid Maria bitch and just don't think that you are the only person in this whole galaxy to have had a bad day today" she was livid.

I had to struggle not to laugh at her apparent heat up, it was so out of character, don't get me wrong, the girl knew how to work her rage, but it was so out of the ordinary for her to be unhappy. Like a drag queen at a rodeo.

Now let me mention a couple of things to you, just so you get the gist of how things worked with me and Alice.

Me + bad day - the ability to come home and relax in a nice cold apartment +

Alice + bad day - some random crush she thought would rescue her and take her away to fairy princess Alice land

= not a very good living environment.

others also fondly refer to it as world war 3.

What can I say? we were girls and we had anger issues and we just happened to like things our way which projected over every single facet of our lives. Which isn't bad, except when in the presence of someone else who particularly likes it their way as well.

We kind of stared at each other for a moment, both our faces screwed into a scowl. Then suddenly I noticed the thermostat on the wall halfway between Alice and me. It only took me a moment to realize I could just run to it and change it myself, but that would entail fighting Alice like a cougar over the last zebra leg. I must have been out of my mind, but the heat was just melting away my good sense faster and faster.

Alice didn't miss a beat however and caught my stare, all of a sudden we were in an old country western and that damn thermostat was our own private pistols.

She stood firm with her feet planted and spread in the position, the one that alarms you she is ready for the attack.

I noticed I had also been standing in a similar stance. We kept eyeing each other as the tension built. Both our fingers twitched with a ready awareness.

The look in her eyes as she arched an eyebrow at me seamed to have a voice of its own again, it bore into me with a great solid challenge

"draw".

Blink and you would have missed it.

I ran with a rabbit like quickness at the damn thermostat but that little minx got there a millisecond before my hand had completely landed. So here was my hand on top of hers and I was clawing at it with everything I had in me. we started to yell a mile of obscene things at each other

"No you can't turn it!" the struggle continued

I was inches away from her face and the thought passed through me to bite the heathen wench, but all my energy was focused on prying her jaws of life hands from the thing keeping me from my igloo of peace and harmony.

She shifted her body so that her back was pressing against me and pushing me away. So of course I did one of the most childish and cliché things I could think of in that instant, yea... that's right... I stamped my damn foot on hers. She squealed and finally surrendered her hold on the device fastened to the wall.

In letting go however it caused her back to fly into my chest and we both landed on the floor with a loud and startling "thump"

As I realized how we were positioned I flung my legs around her waist, we had fallen in such a position that I had a definite advantage here. So I took it gladly.

My feet locked around her and I held her to the ground, we wrestled around as she resisted and tried in vein to escape, I had dynamite calves. She wasn't going anywhere, and she was going to pay.

I finally got in the position where I had good opportunity to straddle on top of her, I quickly clasped her hands over her head melding them to the carpet and stared her right in her smug little face.

"listen here pard na, this apartment ain't big enough for the twos of us, I likes it cold and I had a particularly hard day, ya hear?"

My hands worked fast all over her body exploring where I knew she was most vulnerable.

Alice burst into a chaos of laughter and giggles, and I found in spite of myself that I was laughing just as hard if not harder than she was. Her laughter was so darn contagious.

"Mercy" she screamed still alight with happiness

"hmm" I contemplated that for a minute... or two "well I suppose I could" I let the words fall from my mouth slowly and mockingly

"I mean we did have an agreement and you ma'am have not followed the rules" I looked dubiously at her with my way too cocky Bella smirk.

I started to tickle her again as she writhed beneath me, now tears were forming in her eyes and her face was as red as a beet.

Out of a giggle here and a uproar of laughter there another small "mercy" was all I could make out, she breathed heavily "please" I could watch the rise and fall of her chest in rapid patterns.

Probably could have killed her, and don't believe for a second I wasn't seriously contemplating it, because I was. The thought caused an "up to something" grin to spread across my face.

I smiled down at her and finally let up on the tickling but I replaced my hands on her wrists holding her in place, she was already pinned, might as well go for broke. I wasn't going to let her get out without some conditions first.

Calmly and cool as Bella Swan can possibly get with still trying to sound serious as possible, I laid out a couple of stipulations "Alright alright, I'll let you go, but your gonna have to cut that shit out Al, its a fucking rain forest in here"

We were both gasping for breath now and I was so close to her face, and suddenly she smiled at me, it wasn't her failed innocence smile either, this was a different smile, a smile I had never seen before. She looked like she might be glowing at me.

Her delicate body lay beneath me, her shirt hitched up revealing her toned and tan stomach, due to her wriggling around on the floor. Her skin looked softer than satin and I could also make out the black lace of her panties peeking out and saying hello, just to make its presence known.

Something took hold of me then, I honestly couldn't tell you what the hell I was thinking, it just happened. There are these moments in your life where you're all there, where you can look in a mirror or in the face of a loved one and say "hi, my name is Isabella Swan and I am me, so take that" and in those moments you are completely coherent. Ready for anything.

But then there's those moments in life where everything blurs, and suddenly you are caught off guard with how you react to situations. More importantly, how you end up doing things you never thought in a million years you would do.

My face fell closer and closer to hers, I could hear her breath catch.

Then out of a black hole in a universe far far away my lips were connected with hers. at first there was just a stillness, you could hear a rice bead drop to the ground.

I felt like an idiot for about two seconds until to my surprise she responded, her lips parted and we were in a dance together, our mouths caught fire and without warning I was kissing my best friend.


	2. Chapter 2: I'm Seriously Not A Homo

**A/N:** If you read the first chapter thank you for staying with me. I hope you like this story as much as I do. Please Review!

**Disclaimer:** Stephanie Meyers owns twilight and i don't claim to. I just like jerking around with her characters a little.

**Chapter 2:**

**I'm Seriously Not A Homo**

I am not a gay. I don't wander around in their company, do not attend the weekly drag shows, not a fag hag or whatever kind of nicknames they have come up with over the years. I don't have any problem with them, everyone is entitled to happiness and love. It just wasn't how i expected my life to turn out.

I am just me, and I tend to act a little crazy sometimes, I tend to let things get out of hand. I am a constant vessel for conflict and surprise.

As my reflection stared into me, asking me what the hell just happened, I could only look on in horror, I had just kissed my best friend, wait, scratch that, I had just sucked a lot of face with my best friend, on the floor of our two bedroom apartment.

"What in all of gods glory am I thinking?" I whispered to myself... I had no answer and it seems that my reflection didn't either. We both looked awestruck.

This was college and not even in my drunken stupors had I ever attempted something of this caliber. And I had been to frat parties, alright.

I saw all those hussies and their inebriated romances with each other, I paid little mind to them. Even when I had a few too many brews, I tried to stray away from them and their ability to attack you with their attention yearning make-out sessions.

My hands pressed against the cold porcelain sink, and I did this kind of hyperventilation dance with it, it wasn't pretty. I finally brought my head to the edge right in between my palms. I just stood there for what seemed like days, trying to regain some composure.

"What does this even mean? I kissed a girl... and I think I fucking liked it." thoughts such as this kept running through my brain. Churning it over into butter. I could literally not think anymore. So I allowed my body fall to the ground, i knelt against the soft oak cabinets under the sink.

I could never leave this bathroom, I thought. My hands lay in my lap with my legs stretched straight so that my feet were touching against the wall. My head hung low still and I stared at my hands.

These silly things, they got me into so much trouble. I let my voice hiss out from my parted lips "you just had to tickle her didn't you... " I glared at them.

Time seemed to rush and stop all at once, I couldn't remember what time I had arrived home, I don't know how long I had been in here, I couldn't even remember what time it was when....

A fast and abrupt knock came at the restroom door.

My head snapped to it in horror, there was no way I could face Alice after I had almost eaten her tongue and without any notice run off to the bathroom like the damn coward that i was. Leaving her only with a flat "i need to pee".

The knock came faster and was more fierce. I didn't budge. There was nothing I could say to her, I didn't have anything figured out. All her millions of questions could not be answered in my present state. So i just sat. Waiting.

Then a voice came that i honestly wasn't expecting

"Bella what are you doing in there, Alice says you locked yourself in the bathroom and wont come out" It was Jacob, my best friend from High School.

I was hesitant, because i didn't want to come out of the room and face Alice again, but i didn't want him to worry, I slowly rose then made my way to the door and reached for the knob.

Opening it, I was met with Jacob and all his massive frame. He had been making love with the door apparently, because out of nowhere his chest was touching my nose. I peeked at him through my lashes "Hi Jake" an uneasy smile adorned half of my face

He looked at me quizzically, I wondered if Alice had told him anything. I chanced a survey of his surroundings to see if she might be around. She wasn't as far as i could gather. Maybe she went into her room, I pondered.

"Are you alright? Alice said you have been in here for hours, I think she is really worried about you" He tried to push his way through the door to inspect my bathroom.

I moved out of the way to let him through, there wasn't anything there of course. It had just been little ole cowardly Bella Swan who, after having her first lesbian encounter, fled with her tail between her no woman's land. Ironic, isn't it.

I cautiously inquired "Is she still around?" hoping that the answer was no

And oh what luck, god decided to grant me exactly one wish today, this was it.

"No, she left to go over to Esmes, something about her grades. She looked really flustered, I think Esme might be trying to kill Alice" He flashed a wicked smile my way.

I let out a sigh of relief at the fact that Alice had kept her big mouth shut for once.

I watched as he walked around and searched the room, every single inch of it. He was a big guy and my bathroom was pretty small, He stood at least 5 inches taller than me, he could reach up really high, and demonstrated it by pawing over the top of the vanity, I don't know exactly what he was expecting to find, he probably thought i was on drugs.

I wish i had been.

Jake was on the football team in high school and we were all surprised most of the teachers didn't try and hold him back due to his auspicious 3 year title winning streak.

Jacob had been offered a scholarship to any university that he wanted, it was an athletic scholarship, as long as he won games for a college they were going to give him a free ride. He of course chose the school right down the street from mine.

In high school we had met because of my dad Charlie, his life long friend Billy had came to visit shortly after I arrived in Forks, Washington to stay with my dad. Jacob was with him.

We hit it off instantly, it was crazy how much we had in common, we talked for hours about books, movies, music, and our weird obsession with Mystery Science Theater, which by far, has got to be the greatest thing to come out of America in decades.

Jacob cleared his throat, "Excuse me, space cadet swan"

He broke me out of my reverence and I finally met his gaze.

He continued slowly "So are you going to tell me why you have been in the bathroom for 3 hours?" as he said this I watched him inspect the trashcan near the toilet.

And what exactly was he looking for in there? I hoped to hell there was a used tampon so that he might vomit, serves the curious little bugger right. He looked up at me then obviously awaiting my answer.

I didn't respond fast enough as i was trying to muster up any kind of excuse, I didn't want to tell Jacob what happened between me and Alice, I just wasn't ready. This was a delicate situation that needed to be cared for nice and slow.

I don't exactly know what was going through his head then, but all of a sudden his eyes flew open and I thought he might be having a stroke. Just as I was about to run and call a doctor his mouth moved into a perfect circle as he finally formed some coherent words "Oh. My. God"

I leaned forward trying to draw the rest of the train of thought out of him but finally offered "what?"

"You're knocked up! aren't you?!" his face broke into an all knowing smile and he slapped his hand to his thigh and concluded his performance with a guffaw.

As if someone just gave me a warhead candy, my face puckered while I defended "No you idiot I'm not pregnant, you have to get laid to get pregnant and we all know how long that's been." putting extensive highlight on the word "that". I regress.

"However I could be carrying Jesus so... atone for your sins now cause I'm pretty sure I get some dictation after this" I pointed to my torso displaying it playfully "is all said and done".

I had lost my virginity to Jacob years ago. And I haven't exactly been keen on jumping in the sack with anyone since.

We had been drinking over at one of our friend Jessica's house parties, which she had quite frequently.

We stumbled into one of her parents guest rooms, I blushed as I remembered him being on top of me. Not to mention inside me.

We let passion and our inebriation get the best of us. Its not that it wasn't good, but i barely remember it.

Things didn't even feel weird with us after that. We just kept being Bella and Jacob, we never told anyone, and we never really spoke of it. I think we both understood it was just one of those "hey this is my best friend and oh hey here is some liquor lets have sex and never speak of it again" nights.

Now I had another event to add to the list of "stupid sexual exploits that Bella would like to forget about and move on from" sadly though I knew Alice and she was not as quick to let things go as Jacob had been.

He seemed appeased with my matter of fact mockery.

"Oh, wow, that long huh?" he started to mull this over for a moment while running his thick fingers through is long black hair. "You know Bella you are really pretty, any guy would probably jump at the chance to get you in bed, you don't have to be such a nun all the time"

I rolled my eyes "Jake, just... no, just no, this conversation is over"

I could tell he wasn't letting this go that easily, visibly from his expression you could tell he was working something else out in his head. another solution to Bella Gate 2008.

In all honesty I didn't want to deal with any other cock-eyed explanations Jake was going to come up with, so i finally spoke "listen, Jake, nothing happened. Me and Al got in a little tiff about the temperature of the apartment and I was just trying to cool down, it was hotter than the devils back bone in here and I was kind of freaking out, you know I have a thing about getting too hot"

Ever since I was a baby I have been wary of any situation that caused me to be around excessive heat. I hated it. I could barely breath and when I could barely breath I started to freak out. Major anxiety overload. Don't ask me why, it was just a birth defect i guess.

Jacob had to help me in one of my over heated Bella freak outs before. So I knew he understood.

One of the main reasons I had loved living in forks because it was never hot, it was always just perfectly chill. Moving from Arizona to Forks was like my own personal version of heaven. Nice and cold.

Speaking of which, Alice must have turned the heat down because it was getting breezy finally, I started to relax a bit. Jacob was sending me questioning stare after questioning stare. I didn't move to continue the conversation and I think he finally bought it.

Sucker.

"So what are your plans for the day sir?" my mood lightened with the dissipating of the heat, I knew I had a lot of things to figure out, but for now I was going to try and just calm down, hopefully spending some time with my best guy pal was going to help me in the pursuit of easiness.

"Well I just brought the 5th volume of MST3k over for us to watch... but I suppose if your a little too frazzled from the heat we could-"

He was cut off by a high pitched squeal expelling from me accompanied with my ever present but always awesome slang vocab "huzzah! that one has Merlin's magic shop on it, one of my favorites!" I clapped my hands together joyously.

I finally saw Jacob shine on his flawless Jacob smile and I knew the whole ordeal was going to be tossed aside... for now at least. If Jacob was good for one thing, it was that he knew when to just let it go, even if he didn't agree with it, thank god for Jacob Black.

We spent the next 6 hours watching each episode together talking and laughing. I always enjoyed Jacobs company, he constantly put me in a good mood, knowing exactly how to make me laugh.

We talked about how school had been, I was getting pretty good grades except for my public speaking class, which I was only getting a C in.

I hated being in front of crowds, actually, hate it too tame a word to describe how I felt about speaking in front of people. However, my major required one speech class so... just had to grin and bare it.

Jacob didn't need good grades, most of the professors kissed his ass on a regular basis, despite that fact he actually did try at school, he liked learning almost as much as me. Which is saying a lot.

Although I can say I was having a good time with Jacob, there was still this growing fear in the back of my mind. My imagination was zooming with scene after scene of what was going to happen when Alice got home.

We were in the middle of a conversation about the differences between Mike and Joel when the front door opened and in stepped Alice. We both stalled in the middle of what we were saying to look towards her. She did not look happy.

Piss.

Jacob was the first to speak "Hey Al, how did the thing with Esme go?"

Alice just stood in the doorway expressionless. She walked past us without saying a word. Went down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Jacob looked at me and sighed "Wonder what happened" immediately shrugging his shoulders and giving me a wondering glance.

"I am not sure, maybe you should go" I didn't really want Jake to leave, he was keeping me from having to own up to the situation from earlier. In fact if you had asked me at that moment what i wanted more than anything I would have easily said I wanted Jake to take me over his gigantic shoulders and steal me away from this fucked up scenario.

He obliged as he always does however and I watched him rise from the couch. I stood to meet him in a warming hug. I needed this little bit of encouragement more than he could ever understand. Just one small gesture like this was really going to haul me through the mud.

The door made a click as he shut it, simultaneously Alice's door opened. Just as I had feared.

She had been waiting.

I was standing at the front door to our apartment trying to keep my breathing steady.

She walked with paced steps towards my back which was facing her. I could hear her small feet inching closer and closer. I was not prepared for this.

She stopped and in a tone that I have never heard from Alice ever in the whole time we have known each other said "Isabella, we need to talk"

I stared at the door and moved to turn around, I was met by Alice's scowl, only a few inches from my face. I dared to breathe and started to form any words I could think of at this point, i pivoted my body towards the door ready to make my great escape. "Al-"

But she stopped me dead in my tracks, ferocious as a mother tiger, her conviction was fast and crippling

"Now."


	3. Chapter 3: It Was Always Burnin'

**A/N: First off;** Thank you thank you thank you! I bow down to the feet of each and every one of my reviewers, you are amazing.

**Alright, on to business- **to answer a couple of questions i've been getting asked; Firstly, I have 19 chapters (so far) lined out for this story so i hope that if you like this little piece of work that you're in it for the long haul with me and thank you in advanced if you are. Also; I am currently a full time college student with no life outside of that, so expect updates frequently, im not gonna leave you guys hanging for too long (trust me, im just as obsessed with writing it as you are with reading it... its 3 am right now... im a very crazy person) however, im also not gonna get chaps out before I think they are polished to perfection.

**EEEhneywayz:** Here is chapter 3 i hope you enjoy! and don't forget to review

**Disclaimer:** Yep, I don't own twilight

**Chapter 3:**

**It Was Always Burnin' Since The Worlds Been Turnin'**

I didn't have the greatest first impression of Alice Cullen. I thought she was a goody two shoes rich bitch, she just had that demeanor about her that screamed

"Yeah I know how hot my yellow Porsche is, and yes my daddy bought it for me, he would probably buy me the lost city of Atlantis if I threw a big enough fit"

But when I looked beyond the cover of the book and started to read the pages, I found to my delight I couldn't get enough of her. She was funny and smart yet so precocious and I could talk to her, hands down, about anything. I had never had that kind of relationship with a girl before.

I had always been the kind of female that was just... one of the guys. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't all Butch Cassidy up in this bitch or anything, boys were just... simpler. I found it was always easy to get along with them on the hull.

Before I knew her though I had seen her around campus a handful of times but paid little mind, we shared exactly one class and she was always speaking up and never let anyone else try and answer anything. Pissed me right the hell off.

The day we formally met I had been standing in the rain, why you ask? Because Its just my thing. I like cleansing my soul in the great natural tears of mother earth. It sounds like a bunch of hippy shit but hey I've got a pretty deep soul when it comes right down to it.

I like to experience life one day at a time. I try not to worry too much about the future and just live every moment like I might get struck my lightening any second now which, combined with my weird obsession with standing in the damn rain, was probably likely to happen sooner rather than later.

Poof! Asta la vista Bella

Alice had walked up to me in her bright yellow rain boots and designer blue raincoat with this silly beaded flower relishing her left breast pocket. It dazzled from the light radiating off the street lamps. Pretty snazzy stuff.

I had given her a once over glance before I turned my head back towards the sky letting the rain shower my face in all of its divine perfection. I started to open my mouth to let the raindrops in when I heard a small wind chime sounding giggle escape from my uninvited guest.

Immediately I closed my mouth and returned my head to its upright position. My hair was drenched now and dripping down onto my clothes which had already shared a similar fate.

"You know if one of the dude brahs around here ever caught you with your mouth wide open and inviting like that they might try and jump on your face and stick their willy in it, jus sayin" Her face beamed with her snark little comment.

Whatever, she didn't know me, if any one of them ever tried to pull a fast one like that on me I would happily partake in the oral induced castration of any of those little twerps, successfully aiding in the prevention of any future generations of the keg stand professionals of the world. I might even receive some kind of Nobel Peace Prize.

I looked at her dauntingly and suppressed a quick comeback, which just killed me by the way, I loved being a smart-ass.

Then she gave me my first ever preview of the very Alice smile that I would come to love and admire.

She broke the smile as it turned into a full symphony of laughter, and I swear to you that you've never heard any other person laugh like this, and if you searched the world over three times you wouldn't find any that would compare. I imagined that it could probably cure cancer or end hunger in some third world country.

We were quite a pair, saving the world with one eccentricity or another.

I noticed then that she wasn't wet at all due to her holding a clear umbrella with black trim. Probably designer as well, figures. I was working through in my head the necessity of designer umbrellas when she stepped a few feet closer to me.

Still smiling she coyly offered "Would you like to stand under my umbrella?"

Of all the fluff filled moments in my life, which there honestly wasn't treasure chests filled amounts or anything, this had to be the cherry on top of the cotton candy flavored sugar sprinkled sundae.

I was already soaked though and thought it pointless to accept the strange girls invitation. I didn't want to be rude, it was a really sweet gesture, however irrelevant it may have been.

And It seemed that I just couldn't wipe this stupid grin, that had sprung up when I was in Bella la land, off of my face.

So finally I was just like "Sure" shrugging my shoulders and I ducked my head so that we were standing right beside each other in the rain watching the cars pass, capturing a slight mist as their tires ran through the puddles that had accumulated on the street.

I could see my breath in front of me now and remembered the time when I was little and thought it was ultra cool to pretend I was smoking cigarettes with my friends on cold days like this.

I chuckled once at the thought and I don't think she had noticed because she didn't mention it and opted on extending her hand to me

"Hi I'm Alice Cullen"

I took all her nimble fingers carefully into my own, feeling a faint spark, it was a dream like soft burning sensation that hummed throughout my hand and straight up into my arm finally putting a small kiss of significance in my chest. She must have felt it too because it caused us both to jump slightly. Stupid static electricity.

We started to laugh together now and I finally responded "I'm Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella".

She flashed me her flawless smile one more time and complemented it with "Its very nice to meet you Bella"

We had been inseparable after that day. Alice became my girl Friday. She helped me with everything about college that I couldn't deal with on my own, and in turn I was always there for her. Through boyfriends and one night stands, I was consistently around to offer bowls of coffee and the almost unhealthy dose of aspirin for the morning after.

We had decided to move in together when the first year of college was over and we both had little desire to endure the dorm life any more than we had to.

We found a pretty reasonable two bedroom and calmed down on the party life for a while. Which was good because both our GPA's had started to drop significantly the last semester and we had to bust some real tail to get passing grades on our finals.

A few all nighters, about 46 Starbucks and gas station trips later, we finally pulled it off. And don't think I'm being too gentle on the details here, it was an honest miracle to behold. We must have slept for two weeks straight after the whole ordeal was said and done.

Then we spent the summer at either of our families houses, she liked being around Charlie and he adored the living crap out of her, I'm sure he would have traded her for me in a heart beat, while I wasn't looking.

I would cook us meals every day and we would go down to La Push to see Jacob, who had been staying with Billy all summer. The three of us spent some time at the beach and ended up just getting ourselves into a lot of mischief, mostly inspired by Alice's bouts of insane and unpredictable imagination.

Her family on the other hand was super uptight, I barely got along with Esme as she didn't approve of the "street rat" that Alice liked to associate herself with.

I kept trying to tell her my dad was like the chief of police in Forks, Washington, which has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. Her perception of me never eased up much though, and I wasn't going to try to change who I was to please that snooty stuck up son of a whores discarded spawn.

So we spent most of the summer just by ourselves, her family sort of just ignored us, I mean her dad was alright... as far as I could tell. We made small talk here and there but never got to know each other, he was gone most of the time. He worked a lot of shifts at the hospital as a doctor, which I'm sure had something if not everything to do with spending some quality time away from his shrew of a wife.

We would all have dinner together on Sundays and Esme would give us all the 4-1-1 on their elusive son Edward, who I had never met but heard loads about. From all the hype, he was apparently gods gift to the human race, and I promise you I probably could write a damn book about Edward Cullen after having to sit through weeks upon weeks of painfully forced details about every aspect of his life.

But no one was perfect, and it got boring, I always tried to imagine him killing his grandmother and burying her under the rose bushes in the backyard right behind their unsuspecting backs. It got me through a strenuous dinner... or five.

We made it out alive though, and were finally able to set up our own place.

Our apartment was located a few miles from campus, and beside the constant debate over the temperature of the place, it was quaint and perfect for us.

Everything had been going so well before today. I smiled as I recalled all these memories, they drifted me into a euphoric state. I could play them over and over again, I could smell every blade of grass at La Push along with the beach air. The fresh blueberry pie that the kitchen staff had prepared at the Cullen place also made an appearance in my memories senses. They were some of the best times of my life thus far. Filled with so much laughter and love, and the undeniable chemistry I had with my best friend.

I tried to stay in this happy place that I had wondered into as a means to block out the fact that I had recently made out with my before mentioned bosom buddy right smack in our very own living room.

Simultaneously I had been attempting to avoid severe contact with Alice's eyes. It ended up being in vein, as she was burning them straight through the back of my skull.

We were sitting on opposite ends of the room in our matching leather arm chairs that her father had bought us. I had objected but he wouldn't take no for an answer, which as I came to understand was exactly how Alice had acquired so much crap.

She cleared her throat then, finally calling my attention to her. There was no way on Pluto's severe ego bruise that I was going to be the one to talk first.

Her stare never faltered, she just kept looking at me, I'm positive that she was waiting for me to say something, after a few minutes I could tell she grew weary and finally gave

"What exactly happened earlier Bella? I really just need some answers"

My palms were so clammy now, I attempted to wipe them on the arms of the chair nonchalantly, in retrospect, this was just a dumb idea.. it was leather. I left a small streak of sweat on the surface and it kind of made a small screechy sound. I could have died of embarrassment.

Despite this altercation, she made no comment so I was free to continue. "Alice... I wa-"

Her phone suddenly screamed with a demanding intensity, the ringtone I recognized to be The Vitamin String Quartets tribute to Coheed and Cambria. That one was Alice's personalized ringer for Esme, I vaguely remembered.

She snatched it faster than a speeding bullet and it caught me a little off guard. Damn, Esme must have torn her a new one if she is rushing to pick up her call that fast.

I watched Alices eyes as she answered the phone with a monotone "Hello"

I couldn't make out what Esme was saying, but suddenly the look on Alice's face turned from stiff and pensive to completely horrified.

Her eyes were darting back and forth rapidly and her mouth opened only slightly, she was listening hard until she finally responded quietly "OK, I'll be there soon, just tell him to wait please, I'm on my way, I promise"

I had sat up straight and was now anxious to hear what exactly had happened, it didn't sound good and now, contrary to before, she had my attention.

After hanging up the phone Alice looked at me, her eyes were a little red and she seemed on the verge of tears.

In a tone barely above a whisper she finally let me in on the news "Bella, Carlisle is in the hospital, his heart condition..." that was all she could muster out, tears started to alienate her soft porcelain cheeks.

At first I couldn't move, I couldn't comprehend and suddenly it hit me.

As my heart tugged at the image in front of me. My arms ached with the need to wrap her up in them, I rose to stand but she was out of her seat with her keys and bag. Any kind of comfort I could have offered to her was lost, because she was out the door faster than you could say "I'm Sorry".


	4. Chapter 4: You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

**A/N: **Well well well, I'm beyond overjoyed that you kids are finding as much enjoyment in my little story as I am. Thank you for being patient with the looming conversation. Don't worry... its coming. And trust me when I say, it will be worth the wait =]. Enjoy & please don't forget to review (and maybe tell a couple friends *wink wink*)

**In other news:** i have found a beta =] she is a little busy at the moment and I was pleased enough with this chapter to post it without her help but every chapter succeeding this one will be beta'd. I will reveal her in the next chappy.

**Chapter Warning:** things get a little heaty, so make sure you are mature enough to handle it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own twilight, but thank god for that because I would never want to be the woman responsible for the incline of every womans already impossible expectations of men. Jus sayin =]

**Chapter Four:**

**You Have Got To Be Kidding Me**

The hospital smelled like death, and in the reeking cocktail there was some definite colostomy bag coupled with regurgitated cherry jello. As I inhaled every minute scent invading the air a shiver ran up and down my spine, it gave me a huge case of the willies to be in, on or around any kind of medical facility. Whenever you enter a specific location that is well connected in your mind with dark memories, its entirely too hard to envision your surroundings as anything but horrifying.

When I was younger I had ended up with a serious case of the flu and needed to stay under supervision a couple of days. Charlie almost petitioned the station to be able to be in my room twenty four/seven. I argued that I was a big girl and didn't need a babysitter, I had nurses to tend to me who were running around like cockroaches, nothing was going to happen to me. He finally left for the night and I was all by myself.

My hospital room was completely empty and cold. I had never felt so alone in all my life. I was relieved but at the same time, I get bored easy and found little to entertain me.

I ventured out of my bed because I wasn't attached to anything, no IV's or monitors, nothing to leash me down and I happened to be a curious child. I had to sneak around the nurses station and eventually ended up down the hall at a room that was occupied by an elderly woman.

She introduced herself as Jane and said that she also had some flu symptoms but that they were still trying to figure out the real problem for her uneasy breathing. Then she died right in front of me. Kid you not. I didn't sleep for days and would wake up crying in the middle of the night for months after. You don't come back from that. Ever.

But here I was again, torturing myself for my best friends comfort. I would like to say that it didn't bother me too much, that somehow I had grown up since my little episode but I'm not going to lie, it did. Screw my pride. If god saw to it I made it out of here with my heartbeat in tact, I would probably lead the next sermon at our local church.

I was waiting for the elevator to open, the quiet dinging resounding in my ears. Finally, with a sweeping motion the metallic sea parted and out walked this guy who apparently, like me, was in a god damn hurry and wasn't paying good enough attention to the rest of the universe because we almost knocked each other out cold.

Our chests met full force. It nearly took the wind out of me but before I could even react, he had maneuvered around me and was half way down the hall.

Unbelievable.

"Jackass! Watch where you're walking!" I yelled frustrated at his retreating back.

He had dark brown hair that was shaggy and out of order on his head. I realized that it was highlighted because the sun coming in through the windows changed the color as he walked. Looked like something he paid big money for. Funny I thought only homosexuals were that particular about their precious locks.

I didn't get a good enough view of his face to describe it in detail. He couldn't have been much older than me though because his overall appearance was definitely something from my generation. His scent had shot up my nostril as he so rudely collided with me, smelled like something you got at Abercrombie. Should a known. Asshole scented cologne to match his asshole overpriced hair color.

His hoity-toity loafers hit the marble flooring one right after the other. They complemented the gray pea coat and tight jeans he wore, not electric boy band tight, but model tight. Fitted I suppose you could say. The whole picture cemented my fancying him as a total fruitcake.

He never turned to meet my cold stare. I just kept watching him walking away, stunned by his complete lack of manners.

What an asshole.

I shook my head and thought a moment on what the hell was wrong with the world these days. He didn't even apologize, it infuriated me. That guy had definitely made the list. One of these days I was going to receive a get out of jail free card so that I could murder anyone of my choosing, that prick had just earned himself a one way ticket to the top of the bill.

I turned to see that the elevator door was starting to close so I extended my hand and hurried to stop it, stepping in and finally completing my annoyingly strenuous journey onto the damn thing.

I let out a long breath as I tried remembering what floor the ICU was on, no one had informed me of where Dr. Cullen was located in this god forsaken place, so I was just winging it. I decided to press four for good measure. The thought of possibly checking a sign or two had escaped me. I felt like a royal idiot.

As the floors dinged away, the feeling of the gravitational pull shifting that happens when you're on an elevator reminded me of something, then I realized that it felt much like when I had kissed Alice. As if my soul had left my body for a brief period. Like I had been lifted into the air just to be released at the right altitude.

The image played again in my head at the reoccurring sensation. Her beautiful lips that I had swollen with my teeth, her smell of strawberries and honeysuckles that invaded my nose and completely engulfed me into the beautiful sea of all that was Alice.

I caught myself as these thoughts passed through my head, fuck, I was starting to think like such a mo. Maybe I could catch that guy downstairs and we could hit up the fairy club together. I inwardly laughed at the suggestion. Over my maggot eaten decaying dead body.

After I had stepped off I made my way to the closest nurses station, I finally found one and asked a woman who was middle aged but carried a polite smile. Her heart shaped face was topped with some serious curly red hair, it was like fire springing out in every direction. Her face was set off by a small pattern of wrinkles. She was the type of woman who didn't need makeup to look beautiful, even in her older age. Her name tag read "Victoria". She seemed nice enough on the outside and when she spoke it confirmed her apparent gentle nature.

"Oh honey, no, I'm sorry, you are only one floor away though, try level 5." Her smile never betrayed her face. It made me wish I could stay around her inviting aura all day. Definitely an improvement over Mr. Twinkle-toes earlier. I knew I had to focus on the situation at hand though. So onward I pressed.

This ordeal had quickly turned into an exhausting task. I was about to resign and just wait for her at the apartment. Its not likely they would be that excited to see me, this was a family matter and I had no place being here.

Suddenly Alice's hopeless expression from earlier registered in my memory again. This time I had to hold my chest for a second while the image attacked it remorselessly.

That's it. I wasn't leaving here until I at least made sure she was okay. Just one quick "hey hows things" and like meaning in a Beavis and Butt-head episode, I'd be out of this bitch.

I made my way back to the elevator bank and then up to level 5. As I arrived onto the floor Esme was walking towards me. I stopped her with a gentle tug.

"Hey Esme, whats going on?" I tried not to sound too frantic, inside the worry was boiling over.

Her eyes seemed tired and withdrawn, her expression when she realized who I was changed into one of disapproval. Great, even when the woman was in turmoil she still kept her hostility towards me in tact.

With a tone that I didn't appreciate, she finally answered my question, "Carlisle's angina acted up suddenly, he was in a lot of pain, he'll be fine, it was a little sketchy for a while because no one around this hospital knew how severe it was, took forever for them to get the tests back, bunch of brainless apes if you ask me."

At least this was good news, even if she had a bad attitude. I had had no idea Carlisle had any kind of heart condition, the pain of being secluded from that information hit me hard and just as quickly left without further registration in my mind. Now my thoughts focused on Alice, I needed to know that she was doing alright.

"Where is Alice?" I hoped, as I inquired, that she wasn't going to give me a hard time. My fingers fiddled with my neck, scratching lightly then moved to my ear, tugging and rolling my earring in a clockwise circle. I uncontrollably flushed as I realized how antsy I was becoming.

She kept the same voice and simply offered "room 34" then her attention went to her Blackberry and I become instantly invisible.

My heart seemed to be my own personal GPS as everywhere I went I felt the pull to keep going in the right direction. I walked down the hall watching as all the numbers as I passed, 32... 33.....

Finally I arrived at 34 and stalled, I didn't want to just barge in, with my luck the whole entire hospital was probably helping Dr. Cullen use the bathroom, making it a public event. Just what I needed, to get a peek at Dr. Mini-Cullen.

I overheard Alice speak then, she was talking almost too quietly to make out, I leaned in closer to the door, flushing my body against it. I didn't want anyone to catch me spying. This way I would be able to just push through in case anyone appeared down the hallway.

She sounded so sad, and that tug on my heart immediately intensified. My body started to get unsteady, it was as if I couldn't control the desire to push the door open. I felt possessed. I was so unhappy with the way this was beginning to make me feel. I was not an uncontrollable person. I had to get my a hold of myself.

Alice left out much dialog as she spoke, a simple "how are you feeling" and "she just went to make a phone call". I strained then to hear what Carlisle might be responding with.

I started to feel silly because its not like she was going to open up the flood gates about our little altercation. Although in my heart I knew that's exactly why I was spying, to hear even the slightest hint that she had something to say about it. I knew she wanted to talk earlier but, I would have rather heard her opinion while she mentioned it to someone else, uninhibited by her relationship with me.

Fearing that I might be intrusive, even if what they were talking about didn't hold any significance, I decided to retire. As I was turning back on my heels about to leave, I heard the faint mention of my name. It fell from Alice's lips and burned through my ears straight to my core humming my conscience to life.

They had started to talk about me.

I leaned back in, quiet as a mouse, I was really interested in what they could possibly be saying. Never in a million years would Calisle be voluntarily talking about me. So I deduced that it was most likely Alice who brought it up.

He was the first one I could make out of the two, he sounded so weak and I felt sad, I couldn't imagine how I would react if Charlie ever was in this position. Laying there surrounded by wires and machines, how helpless I would feel sitting beside him. Paralleling our lives left me unsettled.

"Well, darling, maybe moving out is a good idea, if you're not happy there your always welcome home. You know that, Edward has decided to stay for a little while. He is so stubborn you know, there is really nothing wrong, everyone is making a big deal about nothing."

Moving out? What was this about moving out? I prayed to god that he was not honestly talking about Alice.

Not. My. Alice.

I heard her respond but had to press my ear impossibly further against the door to actually understand

Just above a whisper it came "Daddy, I think we are all just worried about you, we love you so very much. Thank you for the invitation, it really means a lot to me." she paused a second and sighed finally emitting "I love you" all the depression in the world could not amount to how I felt at the sound of those words and how they were involved in this situation. I started to choke up.

He seemed to feel the same sentiments as his voice broke "I love you too princess"

My heart froze and I could almost hear the icy decay as it shattered inside my chest when I finally came to terms with what they had just said.

She was not happy.

She was leaving me.

What was I thinking?

How could this have happened?

My eyes closed tight as I tried processing the gallons of thoughts running a muck in my head.

How is it in such a short amount of time I had managed to make a complete mess out of everything I had going for me?

I've come to the portal of a life that didn't involve my best friend. What was worse was the feeling that this was entirely my fault. My heart felt so hollow now, like some stranger had chiseled away at any interior contained within.

My breathing caught in gasps and I was holding back the beginnings of tears.

I needed to get away from here.

So I took off from the hospital, practically running towards my vehicle. I passed all the sick and dying residents, and in some strange way, I wish I could trade places with them, anything to change this feeling that was now eating me alive. The pieces of my heart flew away in the wind as I ran.

So I ran faster.

When I successfully made it outside I stopped for only a moment to breathe but it only felt as if I was breathing in pure gasoline. I heaved with the desire to feel calm.

People walked around me giving me wondering stares. I just ignored them and started to walk again.

As soon as I had made it safely to my car, I fumbled with the keys as they clinked and protested against the keyhole. Finally giving way I unlocked the door and slid in.

The tears flowed freely now and I was so worked up that it was difficult to steady my breathing. I leaned my head against my steering wheel and tried to revive myself. My hands found my face as I wiped away each pair of new tears.

Nothing had hurt this much, and what was more irritating was that I had no idea what I was getting so worked up over.

It was only Alice, she was my best friend. Nothing more. I cared about her. I knew this. I had let it go to far today, that was not me. This was not me.

If she wanted to not be around me anymore, it was logically understandable. If I had lived with someone for so long and been so close to them, trusted them with every ounce of my life, and one day they decided to go Ellen DeGeneres on my ass, I would probably take the first train to anywhere they weren't.

Still there was this pain in my heart, something I couldn't deny. I struggled to comprehend it. Losing just a best friend shouldn't hurt the way this hurts.

Regardless of any emotion that I was feeling, I figured I should get a move on before someone walked by my window and asked what I was doing. To which my only response would be something along the lines "Oh don't mind me, just having a mental episode. Nothing to see here. Carry On.'" Then of course I would only feel even more like a royal ass. Not to mention a complete lunatic.

As soon as I felt comfortable enough to drive I joined the keys with the ignition and took off, not towards our place, I couldn't be around the home that reminded me of what I had just forcibly slipped through my fingers. So I took the highway that would lead me back to Forks, Washington.

***

We had all been attending college in Seattle so it wouldn't take me long to drive to Charlie's house. Tears stained my face continuously the whole three and a half hours. I must have looked a mess. I didn't care, I needed to be in an environment that wasn't completely construed and unforgiving.

I hadn't turned on the radio at all, I needed the peace and quiet. I needed some time to think. I had hoped to lose myself inside my brain and attempt to figure a few things out. But I found it so entirely difficult that I just ended up focusing on my driving. It was dark now and the light illuminating from my car reflected on the yellow paint on the road and it just kept coming in a steady reoccurring stream.

I was counting them as they passed, it helped the time go by faster than I could believe.

Before I knew it I was pulling up into Charlie's driveway, I noticed all the lights in the house were off, but you could make out a soft glow from the television in the living room.

I shut off the engine and checked the visor mirror for any signs of damage to my eyeliner. Holy hippopotamus, I looked like Marilyn Manson on crack.

I reached inside the glove compartment for some tissues and tried wiping away all the evidence of my emotional breakdown. Satisfied, I finally exited my car and made my way to the front door.

A familiar ringing reacted as I pressed the door bell. I hoped that Charlie was still awake. I wasn't even sure what time it was now, I had been so completely absorbed in my own head that I had blocked the waking world out. Realizing this I searched inside my bag for my cell phone

1:30.

Shit. I got anxious as the colossal mistake I had just made came into a clear view. Charlie was going to think I killed someone. Great.

A few minutes went by and I reluctantly started to feel easier about the time. Maybe he didn't hear the doorbell. Maybe god would give me a two-fer.

I decided that it hadn't moved him. I turned to leave and immediately the door opened. I halted halfway down the first step.

Geez god, thanks for a whole lot of nothing.

I turned on my heel and offered a huge smile in the direction of the doorway. There he was, my dad, rubbing his eye and muddling over a reason for the travesty that had befallen him.

Charlie looked more than disgruntled, his hair matted to one side of his head, He scratched at his chest through his worn out white t shirt. I noticed he was wearing the blue argyle pajama pants I had bought him for Christmas last year. His eyes narrowed trying to make out who I was through the darkness. He cleared his throat and with an almost illegible confusion asked "Bella?"

I tried to sound as cheerful and non phony as possible which I'm almost positive only hurt my cause

"Hey dad!"

I ran out to embrace him trying to keep up the facade that everything was alright, attempting to keep him unknowing and relaxed. He squeezed me back and pulled away from me, immediately searching my eyes.

I rolled them as It came to me what he must think and snapped "I'm not high" I couldn't stand that my actions as of late has been received this way.

He chuckled, his voice was really scratchy. I could definitely tell he had been deep in sleep before his psychotic bitch of a daughter had decided to turn his world upside down. I moved away from him guilt ridden and attempted to mentally come up with a good enough excuse.

"Well then, do you have any idea what time it is honey?" his hands found his hips and he took an authoritative stance. He didn't fool me though. I don't remember the last time a visit from me was any kind of burden to Charlie. Even if I had never came at an unreasonable hour of the night before.

So quickly it came to me that out of my mouth it poured so natural and fitting "Yeah I know, I'm really sorry but Carlisle had to go to the hospital and I didn't want to spend the night in the apartment alone. I just figured you wouldn't have a problem holding me up for a bit"

A small understanding smile came across his face, he couldn't say no to me. Charlie worried so much about me living on my own that I'm sure if I had told him that Alice had left for a few days and hadn't thought to ask him, he would have been furious. Relief came to me finally.

I hated lying to charlie, and I was honestly surprised he ever believed me at all. I always made it up to him by cooking him really tasty meals anyway. And believe you me, I was going to cook him a kings banquet for surrendering me my safe haven.

That thought cheered me up a bit, I hadn't been able to be real kitchen efficient as of late, with juggling my crazy school schedule and study time, not to mention work.

I could almost taste the strawberry scones I envisioned as my first breakfast while visiting home. Suddenly though I was pained again as my folly hit me.

Strawberries....

Then the tug once again screamed in protest to my thinking. It was not a welcome visitor anymore, not that it ever had been, always confusing the hell out of me and making me question my sanity. I was successful at masking my reaction from Charlie. He cleared his throat again and eyed me.

"So.. are you going to come in or have you just decided to camp out on the porch?" his smile came and felt uneasy

I really needed to cut this crap out. I probably did look like I was coked out. I quickly sashayed through the front door, past Charlie and into the familiar aroma of home.

We didn't say more than goodnight after that and I made my way up to my old room. Stepping in I noticed the lights that hung on my wall were lifeless, I reminisced about their welcoming glow and how it always made the world seem magical. I walked over to the outlet and plugged them in, instantly I was exuded with a calming sensation. Finally I could be away in my own world with no disruptions.

Just me, my comfortable bed, and my magic glowing walls.

I changed into some sleep pants I had left in my dresser, along with an old high school t-shirt. I honestly couldn't tell you the origin of the shirt, because I didn't even recognize it but I decided that it was possibly a souvenir from one of Jacobs games.

Remembering Jacob then, I realized how much I missed him, I figured that a Jacob/Bella play date was exactly what I needed to keep my mind off this whole ordeal. I would call him tomorrow and see if coming down to good ole Forks was at all doable.

For now though I needed to rid my conscious of all the dirt that had piled into every crevice, creating a cave of unwanted feelings. I crawled under my comforter and within minutes I was fast asleep.

***

I awoke with a start, the dream had left me with chills and my sheets were soaked with sweat... and something else.

Jesus king of the Nile Christ. Why were my underwear so wet?

A million explanations ran through my head, I had never in all my life wet the bed, not even at slumber parties when your friends would play pranks and stick your fingers in water, not even then.

I examined them hesitantly and could feel my blood raging near the same vicinity.

Then it kind of hit me. Pop-fly right to the temple.

I didn't comprehend that girls could, in all the worlds honesty, really have wet dreams. I had paid enough attention in Health class to understand that a girl could pretty much do everything a boy could do when it came to the fluids category, save the part about creating babies with it, but no where did anyone mention the details of female nocturnal emissions! Sure, you heard about these things every now and then when someone mentioned porn or the like. But never speaking on a reality basis. Not in the real life world.

What on earth had I been dreaming about?!

I sat still for a second and was grossed out. I mean really grossed out. This was sheer perversion. Not to mention embarrassing, because I honestly was not the most sexually adventurous person in the world. These kinds of things didn't happen to me, ever. They happened to the weirdos one would see stretched across your TV screen being interviewed by Oprah.

Just then Oprah's voice rang in my head as a monologue streamed through "So Bella, tell our audience what its like to be the only girl who isn't dating Hugh Hefner in the world to have had a wet dream." Fuck my life.

I spent several more minutes sitting and trying to wake up enough to remember my dream. It was still so foggy that putting the pieces together seemed to be impossible. I rubbed my eyes and decided that sitting in my juices...

As the word ran through my head then, I felt like vomiting. Even thinking it made me queasy, nevertheless getting out of these underwear was number one on my list of things to do. I let my legs fall to the floor and stood straight. I strolled over to my dresser but disappointingly found not one trace of an acceptable replacement. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed in defeat. Welp, guess I'm going commando for the rest of the evening.

I checked the clock on my nightstand that read 3:48 am.

I gently removed my lower lingerie and hid it under my bed, as I had no laundry basket left in here and didn't want the evidence found out by anyone. Tomorrow I would figure out what to do with them. I replaced my pajama pants and decided that a drink of water probably wouldn't hurt.

But before that, I needed to use the facilities, and ode to my surprise, that was a whole adventure in itself. Seems that my outer labia was completely engorged and sore as all the blood had pumped right to it as I unknowingly dreamed. When the stream came it was neither steady nor releasing, I just felt like I was hit with an unexplained painful orgasm that wouldn't finish itself and give me that last burst of peace. It taunted me and I found myself groaning as it hit me.

I was left breathing heavy and trying to string myself back together. I got up and splashed some tap water on my face. Then I breathed in deep the hand towel that was hanging adjacent to the sink.

Making my way down the stairs as quietly as possible, I noticed the television was never shut off. I crept into the living room and examined the barren space. Charlie wasn't occupying the couch or loveseat, so I cut the power off of the big blue screen.

Just then I heard a bird squawk loudly outside and I jumped in freight, letting out a small surprised shriek, stepping backward and running into the coffee table with my pinky toe.

I started whispering "_ouch ouch ouch_" repeatedly.

Fuck that really hurt, I began to hop up and down on one foot and held my bruised toe for comfort. Rubbing it soothingly. The commotion I was making did not equal up to a glass of water in my opinion. I was a determined little thing though, so I continued into the kitchen and finally found my prize.

It felt cold and refreshing as it met my tongue. I moaned with contentment. Tastes like victory.

I set the glass down in the sink and headed back to bed, only now I was fully coherent and most likely wouldn't get much more sleeping in. Still, I didn't want to pace around so I resigned to at least tempting another nap before morning.

I tested my sheets to make sure that my panties hadn't somehow decided to be undependable. Satisfied with the lack of condensation there, I slipped back into bed.

Then as if waiting for me to return to the scene of the crime, the visions from my dreams danced again in my mind playing like a movie on the back of my eyelids as soon as I had rested my head down and closed them.

I saw Alice in a black lace bra that had a corset like tie in the very middle, her hips were adorned with matching knickers, I recognized them as the very same pair from the tickle extravaganza.

And I recalled that in my dream I had thought it was so sexy that she had put on this deliciously naughty smile on her face when she saw my expression as I took her appearance in.

Alice strut over towards me and pushed me down onto the bed, just rough enough to make me feel intimidated but also intrigued. She lifted her right knee onto the bed so it was on the outside of mine, lightly brushing up against it.

My face was almost perfectly horizontal with her waist and I got the view of everything that she was displaying. She smirked as she noticed me staring and lifted her arm to my shoulder, lazily letting it hang there for a second while her opposite met her hip bone with extreme authority.

Alice's face started inching closer towards mine. Her eyelids laid gently in a downward cast. She would flutter her lashes a few times and smirk all the while.

I could hear her as she started to speak, although not too clearly because she was attempting a sultry seductive dictation. It was working. The words melted out of her mouth like honey. Successfully encompassing my heart in their warmth.

"Bella"

I swallowed hard with an exaggerated gulping sound to make the effect embarrassingly apparent within the dream.

And with a broken voice all I could manage to mumble out was "Yes?" I sounded like I should be a pimple ridden teenage boy in the middle of my first make out party, being asked if he wanted to spend seven minutes in heaven.

It didn't seem to phase her as she kept her grin in tact. Her eyes were smoldering into mine, daring to dissect my entire reason for being. I clung to the thoughts that were running through her eyes. So expressive and domineering. I was completely helpless.

She moved her perfect face even closer now and finally brushed her soft lips against mine, barely letting me get a small taste of them. She pulled back only slightly and an evil smirk extended from one dimple and ran all the way to the other.

What a fucking tease.

I wasn't letting her get away with something like that, that easy. Without giving her time to protest I grabbed her hair into my fist and pulled her towards me, clashing her lips with mine in a thunderous rage. I maneuvered mine to fit hers, and bit her lip reminiscent of the assault earlier in the day. Deep down in the center of her chest came a small moan, so perfect and so Alice sounding that it elicited a matching one from me.

I dared to part her mouth and let myself taste the entirety of it. Her breath mirrored the way she smelled, they combined into the most perfect sensation. My nose and tongue were in a sensory overdose coma. The taste and smell of strawberries being injected relentlessly.

She moved backed reluctantly to gasp for air, her chest taunted me as it heaved back and forth, dangling like a toy in front of a cat. Waiting, begging to be played with.

Her fingers ran through the baby hairs on the back of my neck twirling them and insisting my head towards the overcast of her bra.

I inhaled deeply, and the intoxicating smell was leaving me with only lust. My lips met her skin and I kissed every inch of the area she wanted me to, her hand on my head guiding me over the surface of her chest. The scent of my breath on her skin as I finished each brand on her left me in a euphoric place.

Breathy and wild she met her mouth to my ear, barely touching to the skin, and begged "Bella... fuck me"

I threw the pillow across the room, and with the utmost frustration, inwardly cursed the heavens. I had definitely had a wet dream, and this was going to be a long night.

**_________________________________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chapter End Note: **Yeah don't try and tell me that hasn't happened to you. So I don't want to hear it =]

Chapter 5 is half written. Thank you for your patience. Don't forget to Review


	5. Chapter 5: Bite You In The Ass

**A/N:** Alright before we begin a couple of points of business

I am so sorry this chapter took so long (I was honestly just having some beta troubles but finally....)

**I FOUND ONE!**

**So, Thank You: **To browniechadowes for being such a wonderful, amazing, delightful, stupendous beta for me. You never cease to amaze me with your pure streak of awesome. If you kids haven't read my profile, I posted a link to her twilight parodies which kept me entertained for 4 days straight. They are some of the funniest things you will ever read. No lie. I laughed out loud over 50 times and I DO NOT LAUGH. Thats saying something. So after your done with this chapter GO READ THEM. And review, because I am still stuned that there are only about 200 on each one.

**So anyway back to the story:** I worked really hard on this chapter for you guys. 6 & 7 are done. I am in the process of editing them as we speak so, fear not, they will be posted promptly.

**Thank you again for the support, I really appreciate you guys and all the reviews I am getting. Please feel free to leave as many of those as you like :)**

without further ado, here is chapter 5.

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**Chapter 5:**

**Sometimes, Those Nights Come Back To Bite You In The Ass  
**

The fumes from the onions I had been chopping were reaching my tear ducts and causing reactions from them. Each tear came down and landed on my hands. I kept cutting.

The eggs bubbled slightly in the pan and I moved them to allow room for the onion bits as I dropped them in. The slight sizzle eased my ears from all the chaotic mess that had emotionally raped me the previous night.

I began to hum as I focused on my task. The batter splashed onto the counter out of its bowl as the Texas sized toast landed in it. As excess dribbled off, I placed it on a flat pan next to the eggs. I heard Charlie stir upstairs as the batter sizzled even louder than the eggs

My ears were attuned to every detail that the world had to offer today. Everything was electric and buzzed with life.

I walked to open the refrigerator and pulled out a package of bacon and placed it on the griddle next to the french toast. I may have been going a little overboard with breakfast but I needed to distract my thoughts, even if momentarily. Dirty images filled my brain, playing over and over again. Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. Sometimes it would pause or fast forward to my favorite parts, which I then mentally put on slow motion.

None of this was helping my case. My vagina was still throbbing. I tried to Wikipedia any information for what came about last night. Literally. However, the article only had one or two sentences about it. All I could really get was that they were possible, so most likely my dream explained it.

Now I was in agony. I needed release and was well aware that I was not likely to get it any time soon. Even silly things like touching cold surfaces set me off. I would idly run my fingers over my skin to enjoy the sensation of it while waiting for breakfast to cook.

This, of course, made me increasingly frustrated as I pictured someone else displaying the actions I mimicked with my hands. I dropped them to my sides and sighed in exasperation, returning to cooking the meal.

I had already phoned Jacob to extend an invitation to partake. He gladly accepted as he didn't have any classes or outside engagements.

It was turning out to be a beautiful Saturday morning in Forks. The leaves on the trees were rustling as the wind swept through them. The cool autumn breeze continued towards the house, creating the smell of fall all around me. I loved it. It made me crave apple pie, pumpkin pie, cider and candy corn all at the same time.

At the thought, I remembered that Halloween was drawing closer every day and I hadn't even tried to come up with something to dress up as. I had been every generic character in the book: Cat, Ghost, Vampire, Pirate. This year I really wanted to go all out. You're only young once right?

I remembered last Halloween Alice begged me to be the mad-hatter as she was going as... You guessed it, Alice from Alice in Wonderland. Her costume was hand made by Esme and was really authentic looking with a New Age edge to it. Not too slutty or pretentious, though. Just right. It hugged her body and showed off her subtle curves. Esme had ordered an expensive looking fabric from somewhere overseas. Her costume was completed by white, over-the-knee stockings and a big black bow that adorned her hair. I had bought mine at a party store.

Alice had a thing about dressing as her namesake characters. Esme had informed me of this when we went to get her final fitting for the outfit. The year before she had gone as Alice from the movie Closer. Apparently, she had chopped all of her hair off and dyed it a "horrendous" shade of red, according to Esme. I heard that she even went so far as to interchange her look with a bright pink wig throughout the night just to throw everyone off and really play up the part.

The year before that she had been Alice Cooper.

I was almost certain this year she wasn't going to be able to come up with anymore "Alice" inspired outfits. Not unless she wanted to gain some weight and walk around in Brady Bunch getup, waving around a feather duster and giving useless advice to all the kids in the neighborhood. I laughed as I imagined her getting wasted, opening the refrigerator door and attempting to spend the night inside.

As more mental images of Alice came to me, I realized how much I missed her presence. I needed her laugh to laugh, her smile to smile, and a bunch of other corny bullshit that was foreign to my thoughts. I wasn't the type of person who needed anyone to be happy. I tried my best to be independent.

So, It was so weird now that she was all I could think about. Not having her around was almost unbearable. I had only been away from her for about twelve hours, but I felt so incomplete. I felt miserable.

I had a terrible time trying to sleep last night. I never fully made it to Slumberland. All of these new feelings plagued me like locusts, each one shoveling more and more common sense out of my brain. I thought rarely about anything else but the kiss since it occurred. No other kiss that I had ever experienced in my life had stuck so well in my mind.

The reasoning behind my actions was the crux of the confusion. I was not interested in girls at all. I had a lesbian friend in my psychology class first year and she had always told me if I ever decided to play on the other side of the fence that she would be willing to take me out on a date. I just laughed it off thinking that the situation would never come up.

Not until yesterday, that is.

Last night, after my notorious dream, I realized a couple of things: First, that I was definitely interested in Alice, even if she was a girl. Second, that I knew that no other female could ever make me feel the way I felt now, and third, but most importantly, I just hoped this wasn't going to get in the way of our friendship.

All this anxiety, confusion, and emotional torment, might be for nothing. This I understood, but I had to talk to her nonetheless. If I let this eat away at me the rest of my life, it may end up interfering with Alice and I in the long run, and that was just not something I was willing to sacrifice. Even if she felt weirded out, I would find a way to make it up to her.

Charlie appeared in the doorway, already dressed for the day and sniffing the air.

"Mmm, french toast."

I added some tomatoes and cheese to the eggs and flipped them over, then finally turned to greet him.

"Good morning."

I received a welcoming smile and watched him walk over to sit at the kitchen table.

"Good morning. What are you up to today, Bella?"

As he said this, he grabbed the newspaper from the table and took the rubber band off. He opened it and absentmindedly started to read the front page.

"Well I invited Jacob over for breakfast. I hope you don't mind."

I knew he didn't. I poured him a cup of fresh coffee and delivered it to the empty spot beside his hands on the table.

"Of course not honey."

His smile widened; he had always loved Jacob. Jacob and my dad were very close and it always made me happy to see them together.

The doorbell rang loudly throughout the house, interrupting my thoughts. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. I wiped my hands on a dishtowel and ran through the house shouting back, "I'll get it!"

I practically ripped the door off the hinges opening it. I didn't even allow Jake to respond as I flung myself at him, devouring him in a overzealous bear hug. I got a good whiff of his hair as my face pressed against him. He smelled so rustic and feral, and all the tension from worrying about Alice appeared to dissipate. Jake's familiar scent could pull me out of any uneasiness I was drowning in.

I unknowingly moaned then, and flashes of Jacob with his shirt off came to mind... then I faintly remembered the night I lost my virginity again and how good it felt. Maybe he could help me out the with the little prob-

NO! Hell no. I needed to step off of the crazy train! This was getting ridiculous. I was no better than a pubescent boy! Might as well be hiding nudie mags under my bed with a bottle of lotion, not that the actual contents under my bed were any better. I mentally rolled my eyes when I remembered the discarded underwear. I should probably take care of those.

I'll make a note of it.

I realized then that I hadn't let go of Jacob at all while I was lost in my thoughts. He just stood there and cleared his throat.

"Umm, Bella..... are you going to let go of me?"

I blushed and immediately responded,

"Nope," popping the p at the end. I didn't want him thinking I had spaced out. I just played it off that I meant to hug him this long. I gave him another good squeeze for effect.

He chuckled and hugged me back twice as hard, then said,

"Well, well, well Bella, are you excited to see me or what?"

I finally withdrew from him and gave him a shining smile. I looked right into his eyes trying to tell him everything and nothing all at once.

"Of course I am."

I had decided that talking to Jake was vital. I needed his opinion on things. Getting this mess from a different perspective was going to help me in how I was going to handle it. There was no one else in the world I was this close with, save Alice.

We all ate breakfast, talking about current events and what everyone was up to. It was all just polite conversation and I spent the entire morning worrying about how to approach the subject of kissing my best friend. Either Jake was going to think I was a freak or, worst case scenario, offer to join... I still hadn't decided which was more likely. I could tell I was acting withdrawn, but there was little I could do to change it.

After a couple more cups of coffee with Charlie, Jake and I both said goodbye to him and made our way out into the woods near our house. It was refreshingly brisk today and the wind swept through my hair. I watched the leaves fly around in the crisp fall air. They danced together and met with the ground after only a few strokes against the sky. As the wind hit my skin shivers ran through me causing goosebumps to form. Every nerve ending exploded and reminded me exactly why I was in such distress.

I wasn't making any conversation as Jake paced behind me. My feet crunched the leaves beneath them and it made the silence between us more apparent.

We stopped at a fallen tree trunk in a small clearing in the woods. The bark was covered in moss and vines were springing out and encircling it. I sat down and hugged my knees to my chest. I let out a long sigh trying to muster up the courage to speak.

Jacob must have noticed my unsettled breathing. He walked up and knelt down on his knees. With a worrying stare he seemed to try and pin down what was the matter. I had rested my mouth on my knees and was peering back at him through the tops of them.

He was the first to say something.

"Bella is everything okay? You don't seem very... Bella today."

I couldn't meet his gaze anymore. I looked down to the ground and hated that I seemed so self-loathing and entirely withdrawn. I let my legs fall over the edge of the trunk, clasping my hands together in my lap, and let out a big breath. Here goes nothing.

"Listen Jacob, something happened yesterday before you came over."

I didn't speak loud, because I couldn't believe what I was about to say. As soon as the words come out, you can't take them back. Every single thing in your life is cemented as soon as you acknowledge it verbally to someone.

His expression was pensive. He seemed to be thinking over something in his head. He finally looked back at me, and with an understanding tone started.

"Does this have to do with you being in the bathroom for so long?"

I shook my head lightly, becoming irritated with our tedious conversation. Finally all the thoughts, feelings, worries and everything else that had been building over the past twenty four hours projected up through my throat and straight out of my mouth

"Jacob, I kissed Alice."

And there it was.

He looked dumbfoundedly at me. This was not going to be good. His eyes were frozen on something on the other side of me. He wasn't looking at me, but through me. His lips parted, and if I didn't know any better I would have figured he wasn't breathing. His chest made no movement. He was as solid as a rock. The entire world was still.

"Jacob.." I faintly attempted breaking him out of his trance. When he made no move to change, I knelt before him and extended my hand out to touch his chest.

Finally my fingers met his jacket and I pushed softly. Suddenly he looked straight at me. His expression went from desolation to cocky in record breaking time.

"Bella! That is so freaking hot!"

I fell back in surprise at his reaction, letting out a small squeal. His face was lit up with the biggest grin I had ever seen him wear. He laughed harmoniously and continued,

"I mean, Bella! You made out with a chick... like honest to breasts chick?"

I just stared at him, finally rolling my eyes and becoming decidedly angry. I shoved my fist hard into his arm, knowing that it made little to no impact. He chuckled once more and fell back on his rear. We were both sitting now and I wasn't quite sure what else to say, so I just sat unable to speak. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"So are you like.... a total lesbo now or what?"

My brows furrowed at the suggestion. I shook my head disbelieving and glared at him.

"No Jake, Its just Alice. Only Alice." I let out a long breathe and just above a whisper confessed "I can't stop thinking about her. Its driving me insane. Up to this point I've been strickly dickly and now... now..."

Now? Now I was having dreams about my female best friend that were anything but innocent. I didn't want Jake to know that so I trailed off and just left the air quiet.

I waited for him to say something_._

Jacob's smile lessened and he looked at me with a thoughtful expression and responded.

"Can I ask you a serious question?"

Finally, just what I needed, Jacob taking this seriously. I looked at him gratefully.

"Yes."

"So..." he pressed his lips together trying to form the question "tell me, if she were to go down on you... would that be considered a Swan Dive?"

He let go in an uproar of laughter placing his hand over his face to lock it all in.

I grimaced and followed with an "ugh". I swung out to punch him once again knowing full well it wouldn't matter, but I didn't care. That was uncalled for and hardly funny at all.

Before I could argue, he inhaled quickly, realizing as he spoke,

"Is this why you never slept with me again?!"

That all knowing Jacob smile came to his face.

I was surprised at his comment. We were never supposed to speak of that again. It was an unspoken agreement and he had just broken it. I grew even more frustrated.

I pleaded, while staying stubbornly irate.

"Jacob, we aren't really suppose to talk about that. It was a mistake. That was a long time ago and we were drunk and it wasn't even that big of a deal."

From the look on his face then, it was as if I had shot an arrow through his heart. He looked down, his previous joy completely diminished. His voice came above a whisper then;

"To you... " He looked away from my eyes as the words came out.

My face changed from mad to incredulous. His emotions were really mind boggling today. I swear he was worse than a girl. What exactly was that suppose to mean?

"Jacob what are you talking about?"

He wore this look of torment. Then he met my eyes, burning, trying to get me to understand... but I didn't, I couldn't.

"Bella, that night..."

He let out a long breath and continued.

"that night of the party..."

Everything he said seemed to draw out slowly, each word hitting my heart hard and resounding through my bloodstream. He kept pausing trying to find the right thing to say

"... I wasn't that drunk. It wasn't a mistake to me. You told me you wanted to be with me and then we..." he stopped himself and broke out of his reflection. His dismal mood had gone with the wind, forming into detachment.

"Listen that's all in the past now, right? So whatever."

He tried to play it off but I knew him better than that. However, not enough to have realized all this time.

But now it dawned on me loud and clear. Jake was in love with me.

I stared for a second as a bird landed in the treetops overhead. He sang over our little clearing. I glanced upward at it and wished I could fly away from here. To be able to just leave everything behind.

This was real life, though. You can't just run away from your problems. You have to face them. No matter the outcome you have to face them and deal with the consequences of your actions.

"Jacob.. you never told me. I don't remember saying that."

He gave a futile attempt at a small chuckle.

"Yeah, well you acted like it never happened. I just assumed that you regretted it. I was lucky enough that you still talked to me, so I just let it go."

He finally laughed as he conjured,

"And you were very, very, _very_ drunk. You told me how much you loved me and how much it meant to you to lose it to me, and you even said some crap about needing me inside you."

He cocked an eyebrow and smirked as he said it.

Oh. My. The last word actually came charging from my thoughts, sliding off my tongue.

"God!"

I could feel my cheeks beaming bright red. This had to be the most embarrassing moment of my life. He never told me! Not once! All this time... and that's the image he would always remember me as. Brilliant. Bella. Brilliant.

It took me a moment to find my bearings. I finally focused on Jake's face from the corner of my eye. He was thinking hard on something. His mood didn't seem to have changed for the better.

Even though I was mad, I was also upset that he seemed to be so hurt. I had to make this right.

"Jacob, I'm so sorry"

My apology was sincere. I never meant to hurt him. Just another thing to add to the list of things I keep fucking up. Awesome job Bella, queen of the fuck-ups. Top notch. Everything was so poisonous now, and I really had no idea how to suck it out.

I looked at Jacob remorsefully but his eyes had turned hollow.

I moved to stand straight, wiping off the dirt that accumulated on the bottom of my jeans. Jacob just sat there, following my movements with his eyes.

It hated to seem so selfish but I needed his advice about this despite his current feelings. It was bitchy and inconsiderate of me, but I had never once lead him to believe that I liked him as more than a friend... besides that one drunken night. That didn't condone my actions, but merely made up for what I was about to say.

"Jake listen to me okay?" I caught his attention and he hung from my words "I really need you to be a good friend right now and help me out. I'm really confused about Alice, I think I really like her. Like.... _like_ her like her."

He finally stood to meet me and sighed in emotional defeat, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well B, are you positive? You probably shouldn't go around just telling every single person you want to fuck around with that you really like them. They might get the wrong idea... ya know.. that you actually _do_ like them."

The spite dripped from his words as they came.

Ouch.

It stung and lingered for a while. I knew before I said it that it was going to cut him as deep as his words had me. Regardless, it needed to be said.

"Jacob, I know I hurt you, but you have to get over it. Obviously if I wanted to be with you I would have told you some time in the five years we have been friends. I'll admit it when I fuck up, and I did. I got wasted and spilled some shit that just wasn't true. I am really sorry."

I tried to seem empathetic but I was waning.

You have to understand that its nothing about Jacob that I don't like... that I don't want. He is everything I would want and everything I would need, but he is just not what I'm looking for. My heart doesn't feel any different around him than it has since the first day we met. I will always love him, just not as anything more than a friend. I know what I said that night but I would just as quickly chalk it up to not wanting my first to be someone who would use me. Jacob would never hurt me. In my eyes he has been and always will be just perfect, caring, dependable best friend: Jacob Black.

As for Alice... Alice sparked emotions that I never thought I would be able to feel. I felt fireworks when we kissed. I felt happy. No- more than happy. I felt like a _fire_ had finally been invented in a world of darkness, when you didn't even know that such luminance could exist. I had been so comfortable with the darkness in my heart, the loneliness, that I just accepted it as normal. But _she_ changed that..

The need to be near her was intrusive now; The thoughts from last night came again: Her soft skin caressing mine. The recognition of my name as she whispered it. My heart tugged at the images. Wow. It had been a peaceful couple of hours since Mr. Unwelcome Heart Tug had come around. Oh hell, was I ever going to get rid of this bastard?

This was all just so insane. My life was never this dramatic. I felt like I was stuck in some raunchy daytime soap opera. I was being pulled in so many directions and it was making my head spin.

Jacob hadn't responded, and now even looked pissed, which was very un-Jacob-like.

Great, now I was just a bitch. I sighed and resolved to make up for this.

"Jacob- " I stepped closer and extended my arms to encompass him. He didn't respond to my touch and just kept looking off into the woods. I thought it was a good opportunity to say something, _anything_ to get him to talk to me.

I whispered into his jacket with more emotion than I previously had "-I do _love_ you, Jacob Black. I just can't return the feelings you have for me. I _am_ sorry about that night. I wish you would have told me. I wish that I could go back and change things and take away all this pain I've caused you. I never meant to-"

Jacob cut me off "-Bella, I have loved you every single second of every single day for the past 4 years. It hurts every day to not be able to hold you or kiss you or show you how important you are to me."

He let out a long breath and wrapped his arms around me, pressing me to him.

"But I should have told you... and I didn't. I was so scared that you would stop talking to me that I just chickened out. That's _my_ fault... now I'll never be able to be with you. I am the one who has to deal with it. I am sorry too."

And I could tell that he finally understood, even if he didn't like it. We hugged each other for a long time as tears began to build. It was going to be awhile before we could be back to us again, but at least everything was out in the open. I felt closer to him now, it was oddly assuring and comforting.

We walked back towards the house at a slow pace. He turned to me and said frankly,

"B, just tell her. That's all you can do. Don't wait, because if you wait, you'll always be in limbo... wondering what your life would be like if you had said something, and never actually knowing."

I gave him an appreciative smile and simply placed a "thanks" at the end of the conversation.

***

I walked up to the stairs of our apartment building. Each step was a number. The numbers counted down to the door. They counted down to her. The rest of my life was utterly clouded. I couldn't see what was going to happen now.

All I could see was Alice.

She shone through the fog of my existence. I had to tell her. No matter what happened from here on out, I had to face my heart's desire without regret. I wouldn't let myself stay at the precipice of a happy life, watching it play only in my dreams and deepest thoughts. I couldn't wait four years, just watching the girl I loved live her life, never noticing how much I wanted to show her that she was loved and that I was here. I couldn't waste anymore minutes or seconds without her in them. So I stood before the door frame leading into our home, ready to risk everything that was, for everything that could be.

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**E/N:** Soooo I know I promised this chapter would be juicy, but If you promise not to throw tomatoes at me, I promise to make up for it in the next 2 chapters, which like I said before, are written. This chapter just got so long that I ended up breaking into 2. I will get the next one up as fast as possible.

**Also: **I entered a one-shot contest, For The Love Of Jasper, story is on my profile, if you would like please go read it, even if you hate it, please review. Thank you again

I didn't know if you guys would be interested in songs I like listening to when I write so I thought of posting them, just in case you guys wanted something to jam too while you read.

**Song Recs for Chapter 5:**

**Copeland **- What Do I Know?  
**Boys Like Girls** - 2 is better than 1  
**One Republic** - Say (All I Need)  
**Paramore** - The Only Exception

_Damn, I'm sorry for talking so much, promise I'll keep it short and sweet after this chapter._ Thank You Again.


	6. Chapter 6: TrickOrTreat

A/N: I'm not going to make you wait any more for this chapter, please read lengthy a/n at the end. Enjoy.

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Chapter 6:

Trick-Or-Treat

My heart beat in uneven palpitations as my hand reached for the doorknob. I had no idea if Alice was home or not. I just prayed to heaven that she hadn't packed up all her belongings and ran out of my life yet. I feared and envisioned an empty apartment.

I was going to convince her to stay. Even if she never felt the way I feel about her. I could get over it. I could let it go. What I couldn't do was lose her. That was not an option. She had to know how much she meant to me. I would apologize to her for an eternity and bake her soft cookies every day until she forgave me.

We could move on from this.

We could be happy again.

If there was one thing I gathered in my head from my talk with Jacob, it was that I couldn't simply ignore how I felt based on the fear of her rejection. I had decided to tell her exactly what came over me when we kissed and how I felt now. It sounds weird, but you never know how your life can change if you don't try.

I realized that there was a less than ten percent chance that she would take the news well. I knew that it was likely she was going to storm out and never speak to me again. But like I said before, I would apologize and promise her that I would get over it as long as she stayed my friend.

Of course in my heart there would always be this place that felt hollow. A small area left for images of us together. Maybe the dreams would never stop now, but I knew I was strong enough to cast the pain of them aside for the sake of having her in my life.

Jacob could live with it, so could I. I braced my heart for the worst possible outcome.

I turned the knob and pushed forward. I stepped into the room, but there was no one there. The lights illuminated the kitchen. I could smell a candle burning, wafting from Alice's room.

I followed the scent down the hall and heard her music softly playing. She was listening to the CD I had burned for her. My heart raced as the lyrics hit my ears. They talked mostly of leaving, and if her heart already felt this way, if she was listening to this trying to silently tell me she was leaving... how could I turn away right now?

It was discouraging to say the least. The weight of my body seemed to rest in the soles of my shoes. It took me a minute as I walked with lead feet through the hall so that I was finally standing right in front of her door. I lifted my hand and knocked lightly.

There was no sound but the song playing.

The seconds ticked by and I started to sink into darkness. The mood of the song carried me away into a emotionally desolate corner of my heart.

I knocked one more time, not realizing that I had even moved my hand. My nerve endings were on fire. I was so anxious I could have puked.

Then suddenly I heard her beautiful, silky voice flowing out.

"Come in."

It rang with nonchalance.

I tried further to pump myself up for my impending doom.

You can do this Bella, you can do this.

I breathed in deeply and walked into the room. Alice was laying on her bed reading a book. She looked up at me through her lashes. Her expression was just the same as if nothing had happened. She just looked like Alice.

"Hey Bella, where have you been?"

I looked at her, not sure exactly how to respond. My heart was drumming blood so fiercely through my veins that it caused my skin to vibrate. It took all the courage I had to choke out words. I stammered as I tested the water for a second.

"Uhm w-w-well... ya know I didn't know how long you were going to be at the hospital so I just decided to stay in Forks for a night."

I sounded like I was lying, stuttering over my words. I was fidgeting with the hem of my t-shirt, rubbing it fast between the space between my fingers. She noticed it and looked back at me with a questioning expression.

"Are you alright?"

I could tell there was this pink elephant in the room by how we were talking to each other. It was so not us. It was robotic. We weren't interacting like Alice and Bella, we were acting like we had just met.

And I tell you what, I don't know how it happened but my confidence dropped to the floor. Nothing had triggered it that I was aware of. It flopped about like a fish out of water for a few seconds. I watched it gasp for air with no relief in sight, and then it died.

I entertained the idea of leaving. I backed away slowly as not to arouse suspicion.

My crazy kicked in then. I started to have a character killing conversation with myself in my head.

"Bella, you are a complete chicken-shit. You just mustered up all this courage to come and confess how you felt about kissing Alice and now what? Now- you are about to turn around aren't you... fucking pussy."

I got frustrated at demeaning myself so. My fists clenched at my sides and I bit hard on my bottom lip.

I tried to ignore my crazy as I turned to leave. It boomed in my head at the slight action.

"Knew it. Chicken-shit." Spitting the words at me.

The last chorus played from the song, causing me to stall. Each word of the song cut through my previous mental conflict. The melodic mentioning of suitcases and running away killed all my hesitation in an instant.

I pictured her with her suitcase, running away from me.

That was it. I was going to die if I didn't say _something_. At that moment all the fear that had accumulated inside me sprang forth with focused fire.

"Alice, I don't want you to move out."

There. I said it. I halted my breathing and closed my eyes. I was afraid to make contact with her. Well slap a tail on me a call me Garfield. The scaredy-cat Bella hadn't left completely. Fuck, I was an idiot. Just because I closed my eyes didn't mean she was magically going to disappear.

Finally I peaked through my lids and she just looked at me and cocked her head to the side.

"What are you talking about?"

I shook my head and my lips pursed. I could feel a slight blush corrupting my face.

"I overheard you in the hospital with Carlisle. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have been spying but I just needed to know you were okay."

She sighed, "Bella, I'm not moving. I don't know why you would think that. You're acting really not Bella right now." Her voice remained flat and emotionless.

I was so sick of everyone saying that. You want to know the reason I'm not acting like Bella? Because _sane_ Bella went on an extended holiday! I sighed, completely spent.

I just needed to lay it out for her.

"Alright, I'm just a little mind fucked from yesterday. Sorry..." I trailed off hoping she would understand

Again she looked confused and furrowed her brows, "What about yesterday?"

What? What did she mean what about yesterday? Does your best friend's tongue in your mouth really disappear from your mind that quickly? Jesus Mary Jane. She was driving me crazy, which was pretty fucking apparent now!

I kept looking at her bewildered.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was insufferable. I inhaled violently as I stared her down. She didn't budge.

As I watched her blank expression something dawned on me. Just as I was about to press the issue, the scared and nervous Bella came creeping back. I found myself finding a perfect excuse to not further the conversation.

Maybe she was letting this go. Maybe I wouldn't necessarily _need_ to confront her about it. We _could_ go back to normal.

I responded to my continuously abstract inner monologue before it had the chance to quip.

"Yes I know. I'm a scared little girl running away from my problems. So sue."

I couldn't help it. All of a sudden, the fear of losing her mixed with the flash of relief at the fact that she had decided to somehow forget about the kiss, were making it very appealing to join in that endeavor.

Alice had made this completely easy for me. Of course it wasn't the best possible outcome but it was much better than some of the alternatives. I processed it all in my head for a second:

Lets see-

Bella bringing up sexy time dreams about Alice leads to – Alice screaming molestation and running away

Or

Bella following along with the Alice plan of forgetting about it leads to – Forever happy fun days with Alice accompanied by slight pain of regret that may or may not go away eventually.

I think I'll take door number two, Pat!

I gave, breathed in deeply and just started to make my way out of her room. Alright then, I'll just be on my way. We don't ever have to speak of this again. Just another night like Jacob, except this time I was well aware of my actions and could safely and confidently walk away from this.

A twinge of regret sparked though. Jacob was right, now I would never know what could have been. I felt like I had talked myself into doing something and felt confident. Now I was letting the fear plague me. I was scared. I had to admit it.

All this crazy was gnawing at me. Pulling me in so many directions. I felt like a pizza being served to little kids. I used to be whole and now I was cut into lots of pieces for little monsters to devour. Except, in this scenario, the little monsters were the different parts of my brain. They all had valid points, which is what made it so hard to get them all to agree on one certain outcome.

I broke out of my head momentarily to notice that Alice was gawking now.

Man, I needed to run while I still had the opportunity. Crazy was just not a good color on me in front of company.

As I was opening her door to the hallway, her voice stopped me, hesitance hanging on the brim of it.

"Hey, Bella? Would you like to watch a movie with me?"

I was stunned still and could hardly respond but I finally let out a brief "OK?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.

I turned then and walked towards the living room. This was easy, we could be normal. I was right before when I told myself that we could be happy again. Alice had offered it to me an a silver platter. This was perfect.

Like it never even happened.

Except, that there was still the matter of how I felt now, how I couldn't stop the images of her. How I realized that I wanted so bad for her to make my dreams come true.

However, I was able to control myself, this much I knew. I could just shove it in the back of my mind. I would never speak of it again. It would always just be that zit that was painful and stayed deep under your skin, but that never came to head.

We sat, not making any attempt at conversation as we watched "Interview with the Vampire". We watched this movie together all throughout October. I was thankful we were carrying on like normal.

As the movie played, I was calmed as I consumed each character lovingly. I admired Louie and his obsession with fire. As I watched Brad Pitt on screen I remembered reading the book and how much they emphasized how drawn Louie was to any kind of flame. He would watch it for hours upon hours.

I stole peaks from my peripheral at Alice as the movie played. I remembered thinking then that Alice was my fire. I could watch her for hours and never get enough. I was drawn to her by her luminescence and passion that burned away the oxygen surrounding her, leaving me breathless. I felt the urge to kiss her, even as her eyes were still fixed to the movie.

It hurt that it appeared she would never feel this way about me, and that I had been running down a dead end road. Now I was trying to decide how hard it was going to be to not be able to be with her. I couldn't make her happy. All those boys she had always obsessed about, could. My mood waned.

I was my own worst enemy now. I was coming up with excuse after excuse why this decision was good. She had thrown it aside so easily because she never wanted it to happen. I convinced myself that she had done this because of convenience. She had made her decision already. Bringing it up now would make things weird. The realization brutally killed my spirit in its presence.

On the other hand, we could go back to being best friends this way. Just leave it alone and let it be. I had to consider myself lucky in that aspect. Right?

After so many hours of silence, I finally felt sleepy. We rose and exited to our separate rooms. I groaned out "goodnight" as I rubbed my eyes and yawned, pushing open my door and collapsing into my empty bed. I lulled about in my head for hours as each piece of me fought to dominate my reasoning for my actions earlier. All my conflicts were battling it out and I was about to explode with exhaustion.

Finally, after many restless hours, I found myself in a thoughtless fog. All I could see was black lace bras and full lashes fluttering. The dreams were what I was going to have to settle with. I let that be my only comfort as I slipped into a deep slumber, alone.

X_X_X_X

I woke up and it was raining. Thank heavens. Rain was always good for cleansing my mood. I watched it drip outside onto the ground for a while before deciding to get up.

It had now been two weeks since the accident. Daily, I was becoming really good as pretending it never happened. Life went back to normal and I was starting to be even grateful that Alice had just "forgotten" about it.

Nights were a different story, though. She would always be in my dreams. The dreams were always the same: black underwear and whispers. It never got very far though. I would always wake up violently right before we had the chance to do anything really juicy. This of course, was always accompanied by a midnight panty exchange.

Often, after settling back into bed, I would stare out the window for hours thinking about how she was in the other room; how she was sleeping alone; how I felt the pull to go to her, knowing I never could.

Repeatedly, I convinced myself of her decision.

She. Didn't. Want. Me.

I faced each day with this realization. Each time I did, it hurt.

But I had finally decided- I could get over this. I just had to wean myself from wanting her.

It was a slow process but it would be worth it in the end. I stopped myself from fantasizing about her during the day. I would just try hard to think of anything else. Slowly, but surely, it got easier. I started to feel like my old self again. More importantly, I felt as if we were back to Alice and Bella.

I consumed myself with midterms and it helped to alleviate some of my tension.

Soon, I became very proud of myself. I was even to the point of barely thinking of it extensively anymore.

A couple days into my revamped attitude, I noticed Alice was bouncing off the walls. She was excited about recent news about our Halloween plans.

"Yeah I hear that Jake and the frat are throwing some huge shin-dig at their place. Rumor is, they hired a DJ from LA."

Her smile seemed genuine.

"You sound excited. Have you decided what you are going as?"

Her smile grew impossibly wider as she said,

"Well, I've been so busy with school and work that I decided that I didn't want to be any Alices this year. Its not fair to have Esme create something so short notice, so I decided to order online but what do you think about dressing to match again?"

She beamed at me. My best friend Alice Cullen was right in front of my face. I found myself smiling at the thought, it was welcome and warm to have this connection back. Her exuberance was causing me to be excited about a stupid frat party.

I found myself smiling, and I finally laughed, saying,

"Yeah that sounds like fun. What did you have in mind?"

She squealed and ran to get her laptop, running back in and springing onto the couch next to me. She opened it and proceeded to find the website I assumed she had found our costumes on. She pointed out a really cute prisoner costume for herself and a not- too-slutty cop one for me. It was nice that she knew I liked maintaining some level of modesty.

I paused for a moment, deciding how everyone would react to us dressing like that. Sensing my hesitation, she placed her hands together and gave me that damn face.

It was decided. She was such a cheater.

"Alright", I sighed in defeat.

She squealed some more and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. My mind-set shifted slightly as I took the smell of her in. She smelled of glorious strawberry fields and honeysuckle covered fences. I tried to push the now routine images out of my head quickly.

I was lucky she pulled away and went to grab her credit card. She ordered the costumes and even paid a little extra for speedy delivery.

We got them in the mail a couple of days later. It was now two days until Halloween.

The days came and went. Out of nowhere, I was in my room getting ready when Alice walked in and demanded I let her curl my hair. I obliged and just sat watching her focused expression as she curled each strand. My head buzzed when she would touch it with her nimble fingers. I started to relax a little too much, because I found my head drooping. She would tug on my hair a little when I would nod off, which turned me on. I wanted her to pull it harder.

I mentally chastised myself. Down thoughts, down!

No matter how much I kept my mind busy, I was always assaulted when I wasn't paying attention. I was growing quite tired of it now. No matter how much I trained myself, it seemed like my heart had different plans. So as with at night, I tried even harder to push it all away.

She finished up and cleared her throat. The air seemed heavy like she wanted to say something but couldn't. She left the room with "Be ready in 10 minutes"

I hurried to fix my makeup and tie my boots.

X_X_X_X

We arrived at Jake's and immediately made for the keg. I just needed a night to forget about my rabid imagination. I needed to get away from her. Being in such close quarters with something you had come to covet so intensely was mind numbing.

When both of us had our beer we started to mingle. I found a couple of friends I knew from around school and we all talked about grades and movies but I had one eye on Alice, making sure she was having fun. It was an instant reaction for me now to make sure she was happy at all times.

I watched her do a keg stand, she successfully drank for about one minute. While she was hoisted upside down, I couldn't help noticing her white lace panties as her skirt fell down over her. They were covered with a black garter fastened to her black fishnet stockings. I caught myself staring when I noticed a boy that I didn't know, eyeballing her as well. He had tousled brown hair and a blue button up shirt. He wore fitted dark denim jeans and brown cowboy boots. His outfit was topped off with a white Stetson. He helped her down from the keg and held her steady.

I narrowed my gaze. Cowboy better back the fuck off.

I nonchalantly made my way across the room and grabbed Alice in an embrace.

"That was awesome!"

I let go and stood next to her staring the boy down.

With an uneasy smile he introduced himself.

"Hello, I'm Jasper"

He extended his hand and I hesitantly took it.

"Sup, I'm Bella"

I realized how close to Alice I was standing, almost footing myself in between them. Alice didn't seem to care as she sipped at her cup.

"Those sure are cute outfits you beautiful girls have on."

I ignored the comment, simply shaking my head and murmuring "mmm hmm" while taking a swig of my beer and hovering my other hand over my baton... just waiting for cowboy to cross a line.

Alice just smiled wide and politely replied ,"Thank you."

Jasper left and soon returned with three shots of whiskey.

"I thought you girls might like couple doses of Jack"

We took them and slammed the empty glasses on the table, both growling at the after burn.

I couldn't help but notice Jasper eye-fucking Alice. It took a lot in me to not deck this guy. Who exactly did he think he was?

The rage I was feeling at this boy was confusing. I realized that I was acting territorial, it was so unlike me. If I wasn't careful I might as well buy my ticket back to crazy town.

More people kept showing up and it became almost impossible to walk. We all stayed around the table taking shot after shot. I kept my eye on Jasper, making sure he didn't try anything fast on Alice.

She had a bad habit of getting shit-faced and sleeping with random guys. I thought it would be nice to make sure she didn't make any mistakes tonight. Especially mistakes with fucking cowboys. See, I was just doing a friendly service to her, that's all.

After three more shots Jasper was getting annoyingly close to Alice and I watched him like a hawk. Alice broke through my observation as she yelled "Bella!" She stumbled a little to throw her arm around me. You could tell she was really sauced. I laughed at her through my inebriation. I stumbled backward and tried to hold both of us up.

I yelled back louder than I thought as the words came out.

"Alice!"

We laughed and started dancing to the music.

She stopped suddenly and suggested, "We should take body shots!"

It confused me, but not enough to stop me. I was already getting pretty fuzzy so I just nodded my head fast and screamed again, "Yes!"

It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Jasper's eyes grew impossibly wide as he laughed and shouted, "Hell Yeah!" sealing it with a cliched "whoop!"

Alice started to pour a shot of tequila and reached for a salt shaker and lime. She glanced at me while the shot glass was being filled and said something that I couldn't understand. You could barely make out what anyone was saying over the DJ booth.

I got closer and strained to hear her.

"What?" My voice was starting to break from the shouting.

Her lips touched my ear and a shiver ran down my spine. So much like my dream. God, she was sexy.

She shouted even louder, "Get the fuck on the table!"

I laughed at her and shook my head, screaming, "Oh!"

I felt my back come in contact with the edge of the table and hopped on top. I then laid flat across it. All of a sudden I felt Alice's hands lifting up my shirt, exposing my abdomen. Her fingers brushed my skin softly leaving low hummed burn in their wake. I felt myself sigh "Mmm", yet I knew no one heard me over the noise.

She sprinkled the salt in a line on my torso and placed the lime wedge in my mouth facing out. I held my hand out taking the shot glass as she handed it to me. I was starting to feel very drunk now that the shots were hitting me full force. The room was spinning and all of a sudden a fierce tingling sensation hit my waist as Alice's tongue met the bottom of my naval and slid all the way up my salted skin.

I bucked my hips upward and moaned out loud as she encompassed her mouth around the shot glass and drank it down. I was quickly met face to face with Alice as she grabbed the lime wedge out of my mouth with her own. Her lips swept ever so slightly along mine leaving me longing for more contact.

I was left lying on the table exposed as the whole group surrounding us cheered and whistled.

I came to sit up and walked over to Alice, eying her. What the hell did she think she was doing? This was ridiculous and I couldn't believe I had agreed to it. She was teasing me and it was starting to piss me off. I needed to get away from her or I was likely to make every one of those little boys wet dreams come true by taking her on the table.

I stumbled as things felt more and more fuzzy. Fuck, I was drunk. I walked into the living room searching around for anyone else that I knew. My eyes tried to steady things but it was hard to focus.

Suddenly Jacob was carrying me in his muscular arms. I didn't know where we were headed so I just lay my head on his shoulder and enjoyed the ride, slipping in and out of consciousness.

I finally felt gravity pulling me down as he lay me on his bed. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey... sexy."

He laughed and shook his head "Bella, you're fucking wasted. You just called me "sex me"

I did not.

Wait.

Maybe I did.

Shit.

I was fucking drunk.

He sat next to me and tried to lift me up. I struggled and placed my hands on my knees and steadied myself. My head wobbled as it turned to meet Jacob. I slurred out some nonsense that even I couldn't make out.

Jacob just kept laughing at me as everything started to get dark...

...and then I was falling.

I felt a sudden cold rim meet my lips as Jacob said, "Here Bella, drink this. You'll feel better."

I realized then that I was in front of a toilet.

"How in the hell did I get here?"

I had no brain filter anymore as the words I was thinking were coming out of my mouth with the greatest of ease.

Jacob was holding my hair back as I moved to vomit again. He wiped the excess puke away from the corners of my mouth and held the glass of water to my lips again. I drank eagerly. It felt like heaven washing down my throat.

I felt fingers brushing through the back of my hair. God, I loved Jacob. He was such a good friend. I had laid my forehead on the rim of the toilet, letting the cold surface calm my throbbing head.

I finally started to feel better. It must have been hours that I had been throwing up but I felt like I could become somewhat coherent now. My eyes moved to focus on Jacob and realized that it wasn't Jacob who had been sitting with me in the bathroom. It was Alice.

I lifted my head up and stared at her. She gave me a smile and said "Hey honey, did you have a nice nap?"

I must have dozed off again. I just kept looking at her, surprised as hell.

"How did you get here?"

Everything around me still felt hazy. I was slightly coherent but I could tell I was still tipsy enough to see double.

The two Alices in front of me chuckled and answered,

"In the bathroom? I've been in the bathroom with you for a couple of hours now."

I was very confused. Hadn't Jacob taken me to his room?

"Where is Jake?"

She kept chuckling, "He took you into his room but you started to pass out and when you came to, you rushed out of it and came to vomit. He didn't want to be around you so he found me."

Great, now I felt terrible.

"Oh," I placed my head in my hands and inhaled, "Thank you, I didn't mean to ruin your night Alice. You should go have fun with Jasper."

My words were slightly muffled by my hands.

She grasped my wrists with her fingers and pulled my hands away from my face. Her vibrant green eyes captured mine and wouldn't let go of their hold. Her voice was low and sincere as she refused to look away.

"Bella, You didn't ruin my night,"

Her face was so perfect. Her lips called to me.

"and Jasper has a girlfriend," she added, and the fact didn't seem to bother her at all.

Then my mouth filter failed again as the words just kind of came pouring out.

"God.. you are so beautiful."

I couldn't believe what I had said but I had no power over my words. They had a will of their own and I was at the point I didn't care much. My head was still foggy. This all seemed so much more like one of my dreams than reality.

I felt something warm and delicious on my lips then. The taste of strawberries were invading my tongue. My mouth reacted and moved to the rhythm of the kiss. I reached around Alice's head and entwined my fingers with her hair. I pulled softly as she moaned in my mouth. I parted her lips with my tongue and invited the strawberries in for a longer visit. She urgently swept her tongue along mine and breathed into me deeply. We continued kissing feverishly. She took my bottom lip between her teeth and bit down softly.

All the blood had gone to my core and I was aching for release. God, I wanted her so badly. I let my hands reach for her hips and pushed her on to the floor. She let out a small whimper and laid flat for me. I braced myself above her, placing each of my hands on either side of her face. I let one of them trail up and down her costume, caressing softly as she writhed beneath me.

Her hands grabbed her hair as she moaned, apparently enjoying my hands exploring her body. Her eyes were lidded and she looked right up at me. She arched her head back, lifting her breasts closer. I met them as they rose, with my fingers at their peeks. I rubbed harder following her movement and moaned as soon as she did.

Her brown ringlets laid like a halo around her face. I wanted to make her mine. She should be mine.

I didn't know what came over me then. I had never fucked around with any girl before in my life. None of my dreams ever got this far, so I was surprised when it seemed instinctive. I found myself lifting her skirt and gazing at her white lace underwear. She kept looking at me watching my every movement. I sat back on my calves and grabbed her knees, pushing them up so they opened her more for me.

Her eyes were locked on mine until I looked down and watched her underwear slightly move as she inhaled and exhaled deeply. Her arms were laying above her head, running her fingers through her hair waiting impatiently for me to make the next move. I still had both my hands grasping her knees until I let one of them blaze a trail down over her fishnet tights towards her center. I lightly brushed over the lace of her panties and watched her reaction.

She closed her eyes and moaned softly.

Fuck me.

I was so turned on right now. I was still so drunk right now and I was one hundred and ten percent sure this was a dream. That was the only explanation for this whole situation seeming so flawless. So fuck it. This was definitely about to go down.

I gulped as I moved her underwear out of the way to allow access for my fingers. I paid particularly close attention to them as they skimmed the surface. She was so wet. It was all for me. I wore a completely ridiculous grin then at the notion.

I slowly let my fingers slip inside her as she arched her back and moaned, "Fuck."

She was breathing erratically as she spoke again, "Bella."

That was it. I shoved what was left of my fingers inside her, moaning at the sensation. She was so wet and she wanted more. I started to pump faster as she rocked her hips back and forth on me creating friction. She bucked hard as I curled my fingers up and kept drawing her center forth.

My attention was caught by her hands crawling from her hair down to her breasts. She rubbed at them grunting with each thrust.

"Don't stop," she said, her voice urgent and wanting.

Her breathing intensified and she starting to clamp down around my fingers as they massaged her. I could feel her about to orgasm and I quickly removed myself from her.

I didn't want this to be over yet. I wasn't ready to wake up from this dream. Not this time.

I reached for my handcuffs as she pleaded with a series of whimpers against the lack of my presence. I opened them and fastened them around her wrists and she giggled with delight. Her naughty smirk pulled every string in my heart and I wanted to give her more.

After successfully arresting her I hovered over her body and kissed her violently, letting my tongue twirl with hers. The kisses burned every nerve in my body to ashes. Each feeling was intense and unrelenting.

I waited then for her breathing to steady. As it slowed I decided she was ready.

I let my hips fit in between her legs and finally replaced my fingers, only this time I pressed one more in there to join the first two. I thrust my hips into my hand making my fingers thrust deeper into her. She was dripping around them as they pumped faster.

She screamed my name over and over and was going completely off the charts.

I kissed her neck while struggling to keep myself propped up in that position. Her legs were clamping into my sides as I thrust steadily. Each moan was sounding closer and closer together. I knew she was even before she stated it.

"Bella, I'm coming."

I didn't ease up but instead thrust into her harder. The realization that she was having an orgasm because of my touch intensified the rush to my nerves. I felt myself about to release at the friction between us.

"Fuck," I hissed through my teeth.

I let me head fall as she screamed one more time into my ear. She brought her arms that were locked together over my head, holding me to her as she came. I joined her a few seconds later with my own orgasm.

We both were short of breath and just laughed softly.

I lazily held myself over her, my body begging to collapse. Still breathing heavily, I looked down at her beautiful face and waited for her to open her eyes. When she did, they were deep and loving. She smiled at me and brought me down to kiss her. They were short and sweet kisses.

"Wow," she breathed up and down heavily.

I crawled out of her embrace and unlocked her cuffs, tossing them aside.

I finally moved next to her and laid down. I was able to breathe a little deeper as I looked at her. We lay on the floor just staring into each others eyes for an endless amount of time.

She slid closer to me, hitching her leg up over my waist and laying her arm across my chest. Her face rest in the crook of my neck and she finally exhaled, slowing her breathing.

She mumbled, "So officer, are you going to let me get away with just a warning this time?"

I giggled, "Yeah but don't let me catch you disobeying the law again, or else."

She laughed right back and responded, "Or else what?"

"Mmm I guess I'll just have to lock you up and throw away the key."

A smile permanently affixed to my face as I played along with her words.

I felt her lay a soft kiss on my throat and noticed her lips formed a smile when they were finished.

She softly said, "Maybe I want you to lock me away forever."

Her fingers found my jaw line and she caressed it lovingly.

I had the feeling I should say something else, so I let out a soft whisper.

"Alice..."

She hummed into my neck, "Hmm?"

"Never mind."

I decided I didn't want to ruin the moment.

This dream seemed so real. The haze of it never really left as she lay resting in my arms throughout the night. We both fell asleep, basking in the afterglow of our little adventure. Tomorrow I could deal with the wet panties. This dream was the best one I'd had in a very long time.

* * *

**A/N:** alright kids, heres the story morning glory: Over a month ago I was at a party and I got drunk enough to make an ass out of myself by trying to start my own Fight Club, yes, I am serious. I ended up spraining my wrist trying to punch people. I had to have a cast for about 4 weeks which made writing/typing/living unbearable. AFTER I finally was able to take the cast off, I had to rehabilitate my writing hand to be able to use it again, so far so good.

So a thousand apologies to everyone who likes this story, I AM TRULY SORRY for the long wait, I have more chapters done and they will be posted as soon as I am possibly able. Thank you for reading/reviewing. I will be able to respond to each review more thoroughly now, sorry if you have reviewed and I didn't thank you, I will work on it. I love each and every one of you guys so much, thank you for reading.

This chapter turned into 10 different shades of fail for me because it was written over the course of so many life changes. Now I am faced with loads of school work that I now have to catch up on. Which sadly will push the release of more chapters but hopefully after class is done I will be able to focus more on this story as I have so many good ideas for it and want to see it through until the very end.

Hopefully the juicy scene in this chapter made up for the wait. Trust me when I say I am only getting started =]

**S/N: **Random Fact about this chapter: I really really hate it when writers have their characters drink bottles upon bottles of alcohol and never really GET DRUNK, so when I wrote Bella drunk I tried to convey that she had really no idea what was going on because as we who drink all know: you seriously are not even the slightest coherent, am I am a perfect example of this. So, hopefully you enjoyed it.

Again, thank you so much for everything guys, for hanging in there with me. I'll never be able to tell you how much I appreciate it.

Please remember to review =] I love hearing what you have to say, even if its bad, its worth it to me.


	7. Chapter 7: Karma

**A/N:** Heyyyy kids =], here is chapter 7, hope you enjoy, sorry I fail and it took so long

Read Note At End.

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

**Oh, Why, Hello Karma, So Nice Of You To Pay A Visit**

The world tilted on is axis. The first thing my eyes fixed on was the rabbit pattern tile on the wall of the shower. It looked like it was from the 50's with the way it was fading.

My eyes journeyed throughout the room. I realized I was laying on the bathroom rug. Alone.

After a few minutes of trying to remember how I had gotten here, I sat up.

As soon as I did though I realized what a huge mistake it was. My head throbbed and I instinctively rubbed it soothingly with my hand.

_Fuck_, what the hell happened last night? The last thing I could remember clearly was Jacob carrying me up to his room.

My vision was having a hard time focusing on anything for long periods of time. My headache was becoming increasingly worse. I looked up to the counter. An almost empty glass of water sat there.

Hmm.... for a moment I thought that somehow the water should register. But it didn't.

Then it hit me in my head exactly where I was. Shit. I needed to get out of here before anyone saw me walk home from the frat house. I didn't need any walk of shames messing with my credibility.

I stood up slowly, glancing around the room to make sure I hadn't dropped anything. My purse was tucked neatly behind the toilet. I checked the inside making sure nothing was stolen. Luckily it seem unharmed.

I found my phone to see what time it was: 6:44 am

Hopefully no one would be up yet. I made my way to the door and opened it as quietly as I possibly could. I first hung my head out to investigate the hallway. It was clear so I started to tip toe across the floor.

I passed by Jacob's room and noticed the door was ajar. I figured it would be nice to thank him for taking me away from the party before I starting acting like a complete idiot. When I looked in, though, I noticed two lumps laying on Jake's bed. One was definitely Jacob, but the other one was noticeably smaller than him and the only thing that wasn't covered with his comforter was long flowing blonde locks.

It dawned on me that Jake did not spend the night alone, which brought a smile to my face. Good. That made me happy. I would have to find out who that girl was later and interrogate the crap out of her. I smiled at the thought.

I backed away from his door and finally made my way out of the house. While I was leaving I noticed how completely destroyed everything was. There was toilet paper strung over the chandelier, hanging in every direction. Red plastic cups were overturned and adorning any flat surface in the place.

Man, that had to be one of the wildest parties I had ever attended. Wish I could have stayed sober enough to remember more of it.

I snuck out the front door and closed it softly. It was still dusk outside and very cold. I only had my cop costume on. I shivered horrendously and started to make a run for my car.

I got in the driver's side seat and started it up finally turning the heater on. Once I was sure I wasn't going to get frost bite, I turned it immediately off though. If there was definitely one thing I didn't do, it was car heaters.

It always was just an instant reaction whenever I was in a car to ask them to turn down the heater. I always got so many complaints, but it was either deal with their complaining or deal with a full blown panic attack. I didn't like breathing in hot air, it was just unsettling.

When I got home, I searched to see if Alice had returned yet. I chanced her door but it was locked and an enraged feeling of jealousy burned through me as I realized cowboy was probably on the other side of this door. Bastard.

Whatever. She can just deal with the hangover herself. If she looks for any help I sure as shit wasn't going to be there.

I made my way to my room and locked the door behind me. I shut the blinds and fell into my bed, passing out almost instantly.

***

Later that day I awoke when my phone rang, I cleared my throat and answered it with a scratchy voice

"Hello?"

It was my boss, I could tell by how frantic she always seemed. "Bella! We need you down at the restaurant, Angela and Ben called in and we're swamped, _Please!_"

I groaned loud enough for her to hear and finally muttered, "_Fine, b_ut I get cut first! I had a rough night last night and I don't know how long I can stand... _standing._"

She laughed and thanked me.

I stretched my sore limbs and yawned. The sunlight was peeking in through the side of the shades. I wonder how long I was sleeping so I glanced at the clock. It was almost 5 pm. Damn, I don't think I had ever slept that long. Was I doing jumping jacks last night or something?

I pulled myself out of bed and got ready for work.

***

The restaurant I worked at was a little Italian place. It was cozy and attracted a lot of couples, which I couldn't stand most of the time. The boys always ordered shit they had no idea the ingredients of to impress the girls. While the girls always ordered shit like salads to keep from getting fat, which was insane because they were as skinny as toothpicks.

I dealt with it though, I had to. We couldn't afford the apartment if I didn't work. It wasn't as exciting as Alice's job but it paid the bills.

Alice worked as a receptionist slash clerk girl for her mom's clothing boutique. She always got to raid the clearance racks and got really awesome discounts. At least I didn't have to deal with Esme as a boss though, one thing I had on Alice. As long as Esme wasn't involved I was cool with working anywhere.

Saturday nights were the worst, though. We were insanely busy and I was almost to the point of vomiting from exhaustion. This hangover was really kicking my ass. I don't recall one that had ever last this long. I was tired and ready for bed again but I kept my game face on as I served each table.

Finally at the end of the night I was counting up my tips when one of the servers came up to me and starting talking to me. His name was Mike Newton and we had a English class together. He always had arrogant remarks about the prompts we were given. There was something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. I humored him as he spoke, "Hey Bella. So, I think I saw you last night at the Beta Party"

I looked up from the money I was counting to meet his eyes, "Yeah I was there, I didn't see you though."

He chuckled, "Well yeah we didn't stay long. We had some other parties to hit up. So, you were dressed as a cop, eh?" He put on the most cocky smile I had ever seen him wear then, which made me want to puke in his shoes.

I mocked him while obviously rolling my eyes, "Yep, that was me."

He continued with a half attempt at conversation while I half listened to him.

"So, get pretty drunk?"

I snorted. "You could say that."

"Do you remember anything?"

I sighed then, tired of this conversation. I searched my memory for any recollection of last night but none came to me, "No I really don't-"

I was stopped as the dream appeared in my mind. I remembered every single detail, from the handcuffs to the color of Alice's underwear.

_Weird_... it seemed so real. I got lost in that train of thought while Mike kept trying to talk to me.

Our boss must have been an angel in an earlier life because she chose that exact moment to walk over and tell me to "get the hell out of this stinking place" and I happily obliged.

I drove home and decided to watch some TV and just veg for a while. I wondered then if Alice had kicked cowboy out yet. I didn't want to get up from my spot on the couch to check so I text her. Yeah, it was lazy, but fuck , I was tired.

Hey, are you home?

-Bella

Almost immediately I received a response from her:

Not yet, but almost, I went shopping.

-Alice

Alice? Shopping? _INCONCEIVABLE!_

I chuckled and threw my phone on the cushion that I wasn't occupying and switched on the TV and waited for her to get home.

She walked in not even ten minutes later with a mysterious brown paper sack in her arms. Wait, those looked like groceries.... _something was up._

She smiled at me and bounced towards the kitchen. I dragged my heavy body off the couch to join her. She never went grocery shopping. I was interested in what she could have bought. Hopefully she had some good ol' Tylenol or something to the equivalent for my headache.

I was surprised when she pulled out a full handle of Captain Morgan.

"Uh... Alice? Drinking? Really? I'm still feeling the effects of last night."

She smiled a wryly little smile that just screamed she had something up her sleeve.

I figured she was having company or something.

"Cowboy coming over again?"

She laughed and shook my question off.

"I just thought we could both use a little taste of the dog that bit us. Might make us both feel better."

I shrugged and finally gave. She was right. It might make me feel better. Tomorrow was Sunday and neither of us had class so why the hell not?

She had also rented a movie for us to watch and she poured us both glasses of Captain & Coke while I popped it in. It looked like a comedy from the cover of it. I settled back on the couch and waited for Alice to join me.

She appeared in the doorway and I was glad that she was just being Alice right now. I watched her as she pranced into the living room and handed me the glass. I took a sip but was met by her hand shoving the glass more into my mouth causing me to take in an entire gulp and almost gag.

I looked at her wide eyed and sprang, "Alice! What the hell?"

She just laughed it off like it was completely innocent.

"You know your never going to get to feeling better if you sip on it all night."

I arched an eyebrow at her, something was afoot and I was going to suss it out. I could tell when Alice was hiding something from me, so I pressed.

"Alice, is everything okay?" I watched her face wanting her to look at me.

She just spun her glass in her hand slowly and sighed, finally meeting my gaze. I could see the sadness waiting behind her eyes.

"I just wanted to talk to you about last night, that's all..."

Last night? She wanted to talk about her one night stand? Well, I had already decided that I wasn't going to pick her up from her pity party. So I just gave her the short version.

My words were dull and flowed out quickly. "Alice - It's just a stupid boy. You'll get over it. We're in college and no one meets their soul mate now anyway so just get drunk and forget it. Alright?"

She wouldn't look away from me as tears sat at the surface of her eyes, threatening to mess her eyeliner.

I felt like I had missed something. Like there was something so obvious in front of my face that I wasn't comprehending. I felt like a fucking idiot.

Why was she getting so upset over a cowboy? Like, it was just sex, not the end of the world. Alice had had plenty of these and she picked _this_ boy to be the end of all her life? It seemed too strange.

I couldn't figure it out and she was acting like she was waiting for it to just come to me. It didn't and I grew frustrated. She finally gulped back her tears and lifted her glass to her mouth.

She downed the whole thing in one gulp.

"Whoa, Alice, Take it easy, I know I said get drunk but _damn_."

She inhaled deeply as she took the glass away from her lips, trying to catch her breath. Then she gave me a halfhearted smile,

"No you're right Bella, I'll just get wasted and not think about it, I was stupid to think it meant anything." She was on the verge of snotty now. That just pissed me right off. I was sick of picking up her messes. Whatever, she could get wasted and I would just sip on my drink and watch the movie.

Alice had 4 more full glasses of rum and coke and was starting to get into her wibbly wobbly stage. I laughed at each time she tried to stand to get another glass. I was barely buzzed but was entertained enough with Alice's inebriation that I found it hard to not laugh several times. Like I said, it was almost impossible to stay mad at her.

She started talking all over the place about school and work and how her "daddy" was doing. Most of her words were getting slurred and hard to make out. I just kept nodding and saying, "Okay Alice, what happened then", humoring her.

We continued on like that for a couple of hours; Alice telling me very detailed stories about her life and me laughing at her.

"So what happening to you lass night? You don remember ass thing?"

I looked at her and smiled. Fuck she was drunk. This was hilarious. Definitely made my night. I finally answered her still hanging on my last uproar of laughter.

"No, the last thing I remember was Jake carrying me to his bed and then everything went black..."

She stared at me but couldn't keep her eyes fixed; they kept going off in different directions as I spoke.

Suddenly I found myself confessing about what else I remembered. "And you know Alice it was weird... I had this dream. I don't know, it felt so real but it was just.... crazy. I don't know how to explain it." Wow, that was weird. I must have drank more than I thought..

Her attention focused when I said this and excitedly she said, "Oh yeah? What was the dream about?"

I smiled, this was so silly. I don't know why I would tell her this. She would think I was weird. Then again, she was really drunk and wouldn't probably remember in the morning. So I divulged

"Well... I was throwing up in my dream and then you were there...."

She nodded slowly and whispered, "Go on.."

I felt uneasy now, this was getting surreal.

"Nothing, nothing. Just... I was throwing up and you took care of me."

I trailed off and started to stare at the carpet. It was brown and shaggy. I focused on all the little hair fibers coming out of it. I must have been drunker that I originally thought if I was paying this close of attention to carpet fibers.

I sighed and turned to my best friend slowly.

"Alice...I-"

I was interrupted by lips clashing with mine._ Mmm strawberries...._

Wait? What? What was going on?

My mind tried to comprehend what was happening as her lips moved against mine. I eventually realized what was going on and pulled away.

"What are you doing?" My tone was serious. I had no idea what was going on through her mind.

Her hand came in contact with my face and caressed it. I watched as her eyes pierced mine with her intensity. She smiled and slowly brought her face closer.

Her lips hovered inches from my own. Time stalled and both our breathing stopped completely. She touched the very surface of her mouth against mine while still holding my face still.

She stalled there as we began slowly breathing each others air, making it _our_ air.

Her words were whispered and heavy, "Well I couldn jus wait ferever for you Bella. I neve thought you were goin to say anythin. So I am."

Wait! Holy- What?

I looked at her, confused.

She continued, "You really don remember your dream last night? Or you jus don wanna tell me?"

Her face was still very close to mine and her eyes were lidded as she inspected every feature of my face.

I blushed as I remembered the dream, the cuffing and the... sex. I sighed, I was increasingly nervous now. It was so much harder with her being drunk. Why couldn't we have had this conversation without the liquor?

My words came out as my lips quivered, "I.... touched... you."

A wicked smile was spread across her face and she forced, "_Where?_"

I looked away from her, my eyes searching for anything to take my attention away from the way she was looking at me.

"Alice, I don't understand what you're doing."

She giggled and leaned her head closer to my ear and whispered seductively, "Bella, I need you to fuck me again."

_Again?_

I quickly leaned away from her and stood up. I put as much distance as possible between us. This was crazy. What was she talking about? Again?

Then I finally got it. Alice was trying to let me come to the conclusion all on my own and I had failed miserably, but now I finally got it.

Last night was not a dream. Last night was very real. I fucked Alice. And she was in front of me. She was asking me to do it again.

But she was drunk. I didn't want to just fuck her drunk. I wanted to make love with her. I wanted her to want me for me, not just for a college fun fuck.

I knew exactly how Jacob felt now. It was so hard to watch the person you cared for use you for their own agenda. It hurt, because I didn't think Alice would ever have said anything if she hadn't been drunk. Same story with last night; it would have never happened if we hadn't been drinking.

Well damn, karma really is a bitch now isn't it.

She laughed and started unbuttoning her pants sliding them off quickly. It pulled my attention from my thoughts to her immediately.

Then she did something that was so out of the ballpark that I was quite taken back. I forgot how to breathe again as I watched her open her legs, displaying her silk underwear. She started trailing her fingers up her inner thigh and licked her lips.

Heatedly, yet with a innocent tone she offered, "Or I could just play solitaire tonight."

Was she fucking serious? I watched her slide her hand over herself and press lightly. She moaned softly at the contact.

The site before me was compelling. I couldn't look away.

Then she just started to finger fuck herself right in front of me. I couldn't believe it. I felt perverted, in the worst way. She ignored my uneasiness and just kept going.

I ached to touch her. I burned to be near her and take advantage of her.

Her presence pulled me and I was helpless to it. I started to make my way closer to her. I hovered above her body and held myself there with one arm extended above her head. With my other hand I grasped her working hand and held it.

"Stop."

She looked up at me, curious.

"Alice, we can't do this."

She smiled at me and hummed, "Mmm, Yes we can silly. Its just a little bit of fun right?"

Then she pulled out her tank and fired. I was caught off guard by _the face,_ but there is was. Full on pout right in front of me taunting me to object.

I couldn't, of course.

The sheer intensity of it crippled my willpower.

I kept my grip on her hand tight as I leaned in to kiss her. It was ferocious and alarming how she responded. She kissed me like I was water in a desert, gulping me in greedily.

My long brown hair curtained our actions under me. She let her fingers weed through my tresses and up to my scalp. When she found it she pressed me harder into the kiss. With her other hand she pulled my hips closer to her.

The friction caused my blood to pump south. I became very aroused as her hips dug into mine. Her legs slid around my ass and pressed me into her further. I felt my knees buckle and I fell into her. Her tongue was massaging mine as she started to moan at the sensation of my hips grinding her.

I felt her hand find the button on my jeans and with one quick motion, undid it. She slid her hand inside my jeans completely bypassing my underwear and sliding her fingers along my folds. I could feel how wet I was as her fingers were coated when she rubbed.

I broke the kiss and moaned out her name as she slid one finger completely inside me.

"_Alice_..."

She giggled again and her voice was breathy, "Are you sure we can't do this? Because I'll stop."

Damn her, damn her, damn her!

I growled and shot her a very evil yet lustful look.

"No, don't stop-" I moaned louder as she stuck two fingers inside me and started to pump.

I let my head fall on her shoulder and the smell of her neck was tempting me. I bit her skin between my teeth and groaned when she pulled me with her fingers closer to her. Her back arched and she yelled out.

"Fuck, Bella."

I let myself get lost in the pleasure of her fingering me. I kissed the spot on her neck that was now red from me biting it. I sucked at it slowly and moaned into her skin.

I was feeling myself coming closer to the end as she kept rubbing faster and harder.

I slipped then into a complete fit as I felt the very beginning of my orgasm hit every single nerve in my body.

"Fuck Alice! Oh God, Alice, I'm cumming!" each word was desperate and begged her to notice.

She lifted her lips to mine and caught the scream that escaped me as the very last push came surging throughout my body. The tingles buzzed with life, making every surface of my skin feel like an electric current.

Then there was peace. I let out a long breath and let my forehead meet Alice's. We both sighed as she kissed me again. I looked into her eyes appreciatively.

I felt like I could collapse and she stood to help me to lay down on the couch. Her hair was unkempt on her head, shooting out in different direction. I could see beads of sweat sit under her hair line. Her skin glistened and I was just taking the complete sight of her in. I watched her remove her underwear and toss them aside.

What now?

A warm sensation spread through me as I got excited to see what she would do next. An expectant smile came across my face as I watched her walk over to me.

She straddled me and dug her hips down. She grabbed my hand and used it to get her off. She rode on top of me until she was close and finally screamed out as she came.

I dug the hand she wasn't using into her hips and she rode out her orgasm on top of me.

She laid down, exhausted, on top of me and we both started to drift to sleep. I was completely calm laying with her. I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. She was already asleep and didn't notice. I watched her eyelids move rapidly as she dreamed.

Before I finally fell asleep, I thought about tomorrow. I thought about how she would wake up like this and freak out. Then I would know Jacob's pain completely. As I held her in my arms, I drunk it in. Tomorrow, I would have to wake her and face her rejection. Tomorrow I would have to let her go.

But that was tomorrow. Tonight, I had her where she belonged.

* * *

**A/N:** Dear beautiful readers, Let me just say a couple of things today that need to be taken care of: a few points of business if you will;

Firstly: I have currently filled my beta position and do not require anymore help at this time. However, if something were to ever come up with my current Beta I would definitely still consider someone so I have kept all the emails I received and may contact you at a later time.

On that note, Thank You **Leila Tesque** for being such a wonderful person and picking my story up. Thank you a million.

Also: Since I have posted this story over 7 thousand people have come to read my story and I have daily email notifications of people favoriting the story. I am only looking at 87 comments.... So if you are one of my cute little lurkers, PLEASE come out of the shadows and say hi, even one little bit of compliment or criticism makes the world of difference for me.

Last But Not Least: The awesome** OMGalarm** from has made me one fuckAWESOME banner, the code for it is on my shameless plug thread (because no one has made a thread for the actual story *wink wink*) just look for Things we found in the fire.

OH, and thank you anyways for being so amazing guys, you really are top.


	8. A Note To My Readers

Dear Beautiful Readers,

I know there has been some concern over me abandoning this Fic, and I would have to agree that it seems that way at the present time, but life happened as it does and I have simply not had the time. I know you hate it when authors play the life fail card, but it is something unstoppable. I have 2 chapters left in this story and I will be posting them very soon.... After those chapters are posted I might end the fic and if I desire post a sequel at a later time, when I have more time. Please know that it was not intentional to pursue this story and not finish it, I realize how unfair it is to you guys because you care about the story, I will try my hardest to make it up to you if you still feel like being a part of it. Thank you for your time and I am so sorry again.

Your Friend,

Archi


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